President Trump Furious He Can’t Get Into Ivanka’s Pants
WASHINGTON, D.C. — An irate President Trump lashed out violently this morning, throwing a 2-liter bottle of Diet Coke through a window in the…
President Trump
President Trump Outraged ‘Wrong’ National Anthem Was Played At Royal Wedding
WASHINGTON, D.C. — As President Donald Trump watched the royal wedding of Prince Henry Charles Albert David and Princess Meghan Markle, sources within the…
Hillary Clinton Offers To Represent President Trump In His Impeachment Trial
NEW YORK, NEW YORK — Former Secretary of State Hillary Rodham Clinton has offered her services as attorney to President Donald Trump during any…
President Trump Blames Bomb Cyclone On Muslim Ban Court Delays
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Today, President Trump acknowledged the deadly winter storms battering the country’s northeast region. Referred to as a “bomb cyclone,” a massive…
President Trump Wants Nuclear and Presidential Luggage Codes Be Changed to 1-2-3-4-5
Donald Trump wants simpler nuclear and luggage codes.
President Trump Claims He Has Fulfilled His Promise To “Drain The Swamp”
Trump clarifies how he intends to “drain the swamp.”
ISIS Thanks President Trump For His Retweets Of Britain First, A Far-Right UK Islamaphobic Group
“We’re gonna recruit for days off this.”
White House Thanksgiving Seating Chart Seats President Trump At Kids’ Table
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Preparations are underway for a truly historic Thanksgiving dinner at The White House. “In 2009, we had an historic Thanksgiving dinner…
President Trump Wants Congress to Strip NFL and Its Players of First Amendment Rights
“That arcane constitution really should be reviewed.”
President of U.S. Virgin Islands Desperately Trying to Convince President Trump to Resign
“Even Vanka’s been too busy lately to come. Or visit.”