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UPDATE: Mitch McConnell Still a Certifiably Racist, Wet-Eyed, Wattle-Necked Cuntsicle

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- In our continuing endeavor to provide our readers with the most current, up to date news and events worthy of their...

God Says He’s Getting a Lot of Prayers About Mitch McConnell Having a Stroke

KINGDOM OF HEAVEN, ETERNITY -- The CEO of Holy Trinity Inc., one of the afterlife's premier eternal timeshare resorts, told heavenly reporters today that...

Projections Show U.S. Could Fund Medicare For All For 400 Years Charging $1 To Punch Mitch McConnell In the Face

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- A nonpartisan coalition of economists has published the findings of an intensive report they conducted, and have concluded that the United...

Mitch McConnell: “Trump’s Not Above the Law, It Just Doesn’t Apply to Him”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell told reporters outside the rotunda today that he's "sick and tired of the Democrats treating President...

Mitch McConnell Wonders If There Really Is A God If He Won’t Let Millions of People Lose Healthcare

Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell is in the middle of an epic existential crisis, feeling forsook by his lord and savior.

Mitch McConnell Prays For Jesus’ Guiding Hand To Rip Chemo Treatments Away from Kids With Cancer

Mitch McConnell has resorted to reaching out to a higher power in the pursuit of his dream -- ripping healthcare away from millions of Americans.

President Trump Asks Mitch McConnell To Change Senate Rules To Single Vote Threshold For Everything

After another harsh political defeat, Trump asks Mitch McConnell to change the Senate rules for him.

Mitch McConnell Offers President Obama ‘Three-Fourths’ Compromise on SCOTUS Pick

Mitch McConnell offers Obama a compromise on Scalia's replacement.

Mitch McConnell Waiting Until Marco Rubio Shows Up to Praise His Work Ethic

Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell wanted to praise Marco Rubio for his work ethic, but Rubio wasn't there yet.

Mitch McConnell: Let’s Make Obama a Three Term President!

Why does Mitch McConnell all of a sudden want a man who had hoped to limit to one term to have a THIRD term?!

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