Mike Pence Orders CDC to Quadruple Thought and Prayer Capacity to Combat Coronavirus
WASHINGTON, D.C. — As his first official act in the capacity of overseeing the country’s response to a potential coronavirus update, Vice President High…
Mike Pence
Taliban Spokesman Says They Weren’t Sure They Wanted to Hang Out With a ‘Religious Kook’ Like Mike Pence Anyway
AFGHANISTAN — A spokesterrorist for the Taliban announced today that his employers are “just fine and dandy” with President Trump calling off planned talked…
Thought of Boston Straight Pride Parade Gives Mike Pence Full-On Chubby
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Whether or not the city of Boston permits a “straight pride” parade later this summer, sources close to enough to smell…
Olympics Opening Ceremony Gives Mike Pence Dangerous Levels Of Trouser Turgidity
PYEONGCHANG, SOUTH KOREA — White House officials are confirming at this hour that Vice President Mike Pence is in stable condition, but is still…
Flustered Mike Pence Keeps Writing “1817” On All His Checks And Social Policy Initiatives
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Vice President Mike Pence is like any other person in the world, despite being the third most powerful man in the…
Shaken Mike Pence Seen Exiting Colts Game Wrapped in American Flag and Being Consoled by Bald Eagle
As Vice President Mike Pence was seen making his exit from yesterday’s Colts game, witnesses saw him being consoled by a bald eagle.
Mike Pence Demands Fox News Carry Bill O’Reilly’s Contract to Full-Term
Fox News is about to terminiate Bill O’Reilly from their airwaves, and that has Vice President Mike Pence in a hot, foamy lather.
VP Mike Pence Wants Law Making It Illegal to Get an Erection Before Praying First
No man should get turgidity in his pants unless God says it’s okay first. At least according to Vice-President/High Priest Mike Pence.
Mike Pence Bounds Into The Vice-President’s Office With Manifest Of Vaginae To Register And Regulate
Vice-President Mike Pence’s first day on the job saw him leaping with joy at the chance to control, inventory, and regulate the nation’s vaginae.
Mike Pence, Vladimir Putin Reportedly In Tiff Over Who Gets To Control Trump
An anonymous source on Team Trump says Mike Pence had some extra special concerns over reports of Russian hacks of the presidential election.