The Political Garbage Chute

Mike Pence Asks Heaven If Jesus Could Join Coronavirus Response Team

James Schlarmann - April 27, 20200

KINGDOM OF HEAVEN, ETERNITY -- Jesus Hubert Christ, the Executive Vice President of Trinity, Inc., held his weekly press conference before the Pearly Gates...

Mike Pence Went Looking for Coronavirus Videos But Accidentally Watched Pornhub for 12 Hours

James Schlarmann - April 5, 20200

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Sources close to the situation are reporting that Vice President High Priest Mike Pence has spent approximately the last twelve hours...

The Political Garbage Chute

Mike Pence Orders CDC to Quadruple Thought and Prayer Capacity to Combat Coronavirus

James Schlarmann - February 27, 20200

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- As his first official act in the capacity of overseeing the country's response to a potential coronavirus update, Vice President High...

The Political Garbage Chute

Taliban Spokesman Says They Weren’t Sure They Wanted to Hang Out With a ‘Religious Kook’ Like Mike Pence Anyway

James Schlarmann - September 9, 20190

AFGHANISTAN -- A spokesterrorist for the Taliban announced today that his employers are "just fine and dandy" with President Trump calling off planned talked...

The Political Garbage Chute

Thought of Boston Straight Pride Parade Gives Mike Pence Full-On Chubby

James Schlarmann - June 6, 20190

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Whether or not the city of Boston permits a "straight pride" parade later this summer, sources close to enough to smell...

The Political Garbage Chute

Olympics Opening Ceremony Gives Mike Pence Dangerous Levels Of Trouser Turgidity

James Schlarmann - February 9, 20180

PYEONGCHANG, SOUTH KOREA -- White House officials are confirming at this hour that Vice President Mike Pence is in stable condition, but is still...

The Political Garbage Chute

Flustered Mike Pence Keeps Writing “1817” On All His Checks And Social Policy Initiatives

James Schlarmann - January 2, 20181

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Vice President Mike Pence is like any other person in the world, despite being the third most powerful man in the...

The Political Garbage Chute

Shaken Mike Pence Seen Exiting Colts Game Wrapped in American Flag and Being Consoled by Bald Eagle

James Schlarmann - October 9, 20171

As Vice President Mike Pence was seen making his exit from yesterday's Colts game, witnesses saw him being consoled by a bald eagle.

The Political Garbage Chute

Mike Pence Demands Fox News Carry Bill O’Reilly’s Contract to Full-Term

James Schlarmann - April 19, 20170

Fox News is about to terminiate Bill O'Reilly from their airwaves, and that has Vice President Mike Pence in a hot, foamy lather.

The Political Garbage Chute

VP Mike Pence Wants Law Making It Illegal to Get an Erection Before Praying First

James Schlarmann - April 3, 20170

No man should get turgidity in his pants unless God says it's okay first. At least according to Vice-President/High Priest Mike Pence.

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