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Hermain Cain and Ben Carson Are Buying Papa John’s and Renaming It “Uncle Toms”

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LOUISVILLE, KENTUCKY -- Two former Republican presidential candidates -- Hermain Cain and Dr. Ben Carson -- are buying embattled pizza chain Papa John's and...

Study Shows Mike Cernovich Thinks About Pedophilia More Than People Who Molest Kids

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RIO CHINGADERO ESTUPIDO, CALIFORNIA -- Researchers at a community college in California recently published the results of a study they conducted which they say...

Disney Partnering With Mike Cernovich Again On “Pizzagate” Biopic

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LIBTARDED HOLLYWEIRDLAND, CALIFORNIA -- Disney announced this morning that it is renewing its new partnership with right-wing conspiracy theorist and alleged journalist Mike Cernovich,...

Putin Can’t Believe It’s Really Going To Be THAT Easy Bugging Every Single Room...

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MOSCOW, RUSSIA -- The Russian/American President just cannot believe his luck, sources close to the Kremlin are telling the media, and when Vladimir Putin...

Roger Ailes Denies Gretchen Carlson’s Allegations Because He Knows ‘No One Would Fuck Me’

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Ailes said when "someone looks at or listens to" him, it 's "readily apparent that [he is] as desirable a lover as a bucket of vomit covered in AIDS blood."

POLL: Majority Relieved to Find Out Future President’s Dong is Okay

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Donald Trump thankfully cleared up any misconceptions about his penis in the last GOP debate.

Reince Priebus On 2016: ‘F**k It, Let’s Make Ourselves Look CRAZIER Than 2012!’

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Does Sarah Palin, Donald Trump and Mitt Romney all vying the GOP nod in 2016 worry Reince Priebus in the slightest?