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White House Adds Drs. Giuliani, Hannity, and Lahren to Coronavirus Task Force

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Donald Trump announced today that his coronavirus response task force has enlisted the service of three new specialists who the...

Trump Directs Michael Cohen To Pay Giuliani $130,000

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- As President Donald Trump sees his legal battles heat up, word out of the White House is that he has reached...

Rudy Giuliani Mentions 9/11 More Than 5000 Times In Three Minutes While Discussing Mueller Investigation

NEW YORK, NEW YORK -- It was recently announced that former New York City Mayor Rudolph "Rudy" Giuliani is joining the legal team representing President...

Rudy Giuliani Says Darth Vader Should Be Commended for Hunting Down, Murdering Jedis

Rudy Giuliani believes in the rule of law so much he doesn't care if officers break it.

Rudy Giuliani: ‘I’m Not a Racist. I’m a Pandering Asshole’

Rudy Giuliani says he he didn't make racist comments; he was just pandering to other, IRL-racists.

Trump Officially Transitions Eric and Don Jr. to Joe Biden

As of the time of publication, this outlet can confirm that the Trump administration has begun the process of legally transitioning the president's least...

Heartbroken Trump Boys Think They Have to Call Joe Biden “Daddy” Now

NEW YORK, NEW YORK -- When or if President Donald Trump acknowledges his stinging, definitive defeat at the hands of the U.S. electorate is...

5 Fun Facts About Sidney Powell, The Rat-Faced Scarecrow Attempting to Steal Our Election

Yesterday, former New York Mayor Rudy Giuliani -- whose only role in society now is to be President Donald Trump's drunken, self-dick-fondling fixer --...

Cousin Fucker Says He Wasn’t Fondling His Cousin Fucking Junk No Matter How Much It Looks Like It

One of the world's most famous cousin fuckers is denying that he was doing anything inappropriate in a now widely-discussed scene from an upcoming...

Trump Tweets ‘Hilarious’ Babylon Bee Article That Uses The N-Word 735 Times “Satirically”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- At the time of publication, the White House has indicated President Donald Trump now understands that the Christotaliban publication The Babylon...

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