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Donald Trump Jr. To Undergo Plastic Surgery For ‘Chronic Jizz Face’

Humor/Satire James Schlarmann - 1
Donald Trump Jr has a rare but horrifying condition that he has reportedly agreed to undergo a new plastic surgery procedure to remedy.
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Coronavirus Placed on 24-Hour Suicide Watch

Humor/Satire James Schlarmann - 0
Authorities are telling us that the novel coronavirus, known globally as "Covid-19," has been put on a constant, 24-hour suicide watch over the last...
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Donald Trump Still Doesn’t Love Donald Trump Jr.

Humor/Satire James Schlarmann - 0
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Last night, President Donald Trump's son, his namesake at that, delivered a passionate speech to the American people, beseeching them to...
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Mexico Offers to Pay to Remove Trump’s White House Wall

Humor/Satire James Schlarmann - 0
DELAWARE -- The Joe Biden presidential campaign received a letter from the Federal Government of Mexico today, offering to assist covering any costs incurred...
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FDA Warns of Newly Discovered Hydroxychloroquine Side-Effect: Permanent Butthole Mouth

Humor/Satire James Schlarmann - 0
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Though it's unclear whether it's true or not, this week President Donald J. Trump announced that he is currently taking hydroxychloroquine,...
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Spoiled Little Rich Bitch Takes Daddy’s Silver Spoon Out of His Mouth to Accuse Others of Nepotism

Humor/Satire James Schlarmann - 0
NEW YORK, NEW YORK -- A spoiled little rich bitch, who also happens to be a man suffering from the worst case of Chronic...
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Hawley: “The Democrats Are Really Terrified We’re Going to Impeach Hunter Biden”

Humor/Satire James Schlarmann - 0
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- For Freshman Senator Josh Hawley's (R-MO), Rep. Adam Schiff and the rest of the House impeachment managers have not made a...
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Kimberly Guilfoyle: “Fox News Prepared Me Perfectly To Be Surrounded By Dicks No One Wants To See”

Humor/Satire James Schlarmann - 2
NEW YORK, NEW YORK -- Kim Guilfoyle used to be one of Fox News' hottest commodities; these days however, she's locked in a bitter...
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Trump Asks Putin If He Should Send James Comey an Edible Arrangement

Humor/Satire James Schlarmann - 0
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- According to sources within the White House, President Donald J. Trump has reached out to his boss and asked for guidance...
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Kushner Blames Lack of Russian Translation for Omissions on Security Forms

Humor/Satire James Schlarmann - 0
American security forms are all in English, and Jared Kushner says that is at least partially to blame for his glaring omissions from them.
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