No matter how you slice it, The Washington Redskins is a racist name. It was racist when the term was coined. It was racist when the team was named. And guess what, assholes? It’s racist today. Maybe the club will never change its name, and will cling instead stubbornly to the notion of “tradition,” no matter how dumb and racist that tradition is. But we here at The Political Garbage Chute want to at least try to give everyone some fun options, should they decide to pull their heads out of their asses and change with the times.

So here now, are 5 Alternative Names for the Washington Football Club.

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