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Monthly Archives: February, 2023

Criminal Justice

Hillary Clinton Told Me She Has the Free Time to Be a Juror for Trump’s Trials

"...nothing would make me happier than to help make sure Donald Trump got the...
Women's Rights

The State of Arizona Just Sent Me the Pink Slip for My Wife’s Uterus

"...my wife and I weren't planning any excursions through Arizona to begin with. However,...
Religion

Jesus Christ Wonders How Many Poor People You Can Feed for Two Super Bowl Ads

Today, Jesus Hubert Christ held his weekly heavenly press conference. One reporter asked the...
Sports

DeSantis Bans Talking About Super Bowl LVII Halftime Show in the Classroom

Singer Rihanna was the marquee star of yesterday's Super Bowl LVII halftime show. During...
Science & Medicine

Biden Promises to Brief Greene, Boebert on Downed Aircraft as Soon as They Can Spell “UFO”

Congresswomen Marjorie Taylor Greene (Q-GA) and Lauren Boebert (Low IQ, CO) are demanding that...
Sports

Kari Lake Tells Newsmax She Can Prove The Eagles Actually Won Super Bowl LVII

In an interview this morning, certified election loser and Not Arizona's Governor Kari Lake...
Lifestyle

Why Does Matt Walsh Think About My Sons’ Dicks So Often?

Don't get me wrong. I'm sure that he has all kinds of very valid...
Tech

Unhinged Karen Spends Taxpayer Dollars Speaking to the Ex-Manager About Her Twitter Account

The average hourly salary of a member of the U.S. House of Representatives is...
History

DeSantis: NASA Has to Rename Black Holes Because All Holes Matter in Florida

Florida Governor Ron DeSantis is on a mission to de-woke his state. During his terms...
LGTBQ+

In New Harry Potter Game, Hogwarts is a Bible College With Matt Walsh as Headmaster

Fans of the Wizarding World of Harry Potter -- a multibillion dollar franchise that...
Lifestyle

DeSantis Wants $6 Billion to Build Bonfire Pits at Every Florida Library

Florida Governor Ron DeSantis (Q) wants the state's legislature to give his administration $6...
U.S. Politics

Smithsonian Apologizes for Escaped Horse Faced Cave Troll’s Disruptions During State of the Union

Last night, one of the Smithsonian's displays came alive and escaped the confines of...
Arts & Entertainment

Jesus Really Loved Sam Smith’s and Kim Petras’ Grammy Performance

Many conservative commentators have been apoplectic about singers Sam Smith and Kim Petras appearance...
Science & Medicine

Scientist Proves MTG is a Barely Sentient Glob of Congealed Mayonnaise in a Vanilla Pudding Cup

A world-renowned medical researcher announced results of a groundbreaking study he just concluded recently,...
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Criminal Justice

Hillary Clinton Told Me She Has the Free Time to Be a Juror for Trump’s Trials

"...nothing would make me happier than to help make sure Donald Trump got the...
Women's Rights

The State of Arizona Just Sent Me the Pink Slip for My Wife’s Uterus

"...my wife and I weren't planning any excursions through Arizona to begin with. However,...
Criminal Justice

Marjorie Taylor Greene Told Me Her New Theory: Hunter’s Dick Pics Caused New York’s Earthquakes

"...when I was researching Hunter's dick pics again last night, I noticed something I...
Lifestyle

Because of DEI, My Black Friends Don’t Like My Confederate Flag Collection No More

The following editorial was written by right-wing podcaster and singer/songwriter Jethro Q. Bohiggins. The...

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