Monthly Archives: January, 2023

My Grandpa Smoked for 50 Years and Died of Lung Cancer After He Got a COVID Vaccine

The following editorial was submitted to us by Frank Lee Stew-Pitt, who calls himself a "defender of medical freedom and slayer of common sense tyranny." The views and opinions expressed herein are only those of Mr. Pitt, and not...

Tucker Carlson Vows He’ll Never Stop Sexually Fantasizing About Cartoon M&M’s

An angrily tearful Tucker Carlson told his Fox News audience today that he is "fully, full-on committed" to finding cartoon candy mascots attractive, and sharing his frequent sexual fantasies about them, with his audience. "I don't care that Maya Rudolph...

MTG Uses Secret Jewish Space Laser to Pinpoint Ilhan Omar’s Antisemitism

The House Republicans took control of the lower chamber of Congress two weeks ago, and after much speculation, committee assignments have been made. Surprising very few people, alleged Speaker of the House Kevin McCarthy (Q-CA) catered to factions within...

Confused MTG Gets Request from George Santos for House Drag Queen Story Hour

Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene (Q-GA) spoke to Fox News this morning about a slew of issues she and her fellow Republicans will tackle now that they have control of the House of Representatives, and have made their committee assignments....

Greene Will Chair House Subcommittee on Presidential Offspring Dick Pics

When Rep. Kevin McCarthy (Q-CA) squeaked through on his fifteenth attempt to secure enough support from his fellow Republicans to become Speaker of the House, speculation began almost immediately as to how he would decide committee assignments. Republicans have...

GA Grand Jury Wants to Indict Trump on Charges of Being a Daughter Lusting Sore Loser

A grand jury in Georgia has concluded its work, and according to several sources, is ready to recommend that former, one term, twice forever impeached President Donald J. Trump be indicted and charged with several civil and criminal offenses...

Local Conservative Celebrates Social Justice Warrior Who Used Cancel Culture and Taught CRT

Today, Jethro Bohiggins woke up, packed a wad of Skoal into his lip, and began a live stream of his podcast, "Rantin' Right with Jethro Bohiggins." Unlike every single other day of the year, however, today Jethro's podcast didn't...

Biden to Confiscate Gas Stoves and Put Them in Same FEMA Camps as Obama’s Guns

Over the course of the next two years, President Joe Biden (D) will have the U.S. Army remove nearly every single gas stove from American homes. The gas stoves will then be placed in the same FEMA camp warehouses...

House GOP Will Investigate If Biden’s Missing Docs Contained Obama’s Real Birth Certificate

House Republicans announced today that they intend to open a congressional investigation whether classified documents returned by aides to President Biden to the National Archives contain Barack Obama's actual birth certificate, or Hillary Clinton's Benghazi "stand down" order. First,...

She Can’t Spell “FAA” But She’s Certain the Outage is Pete Buttigieg’s Fault

No one has ever accused Congresswoman Lauren Boebert (Q-CO) of being intelligent, but that has never stopped her from pretending to know things she doesn't, and it would appear she's not going to change any time soon. Though some might...

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Ben Shapiro Shocked His Wife Has This In Common With Every Transgender Woman

"It turns out, I can't make any of their pussies wet either." - Ben Shapiro A shocked and visibly distraught...