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Monthly Archives: January, 2022

Arts & Entertainment

A Bald Eagle Protecting an American Flag Reminded Me Holocaust Denier JK Rowling Can’t Sue Me

Author JK Rowling is not a fan of transgender people, that much is true....
Criminal Justice

Hillary Clinton Told Me She Has the Free Time to Be a Juror for Trump’s Trials

"...nothing would make me happier than to help make sure Donald Trump got the...
Conservative Media

Biden: “I Don’t Know Pete Doocy’s Parents, So I Had No Right to Call Him a Son of a Bitch.”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Yesterday, a Fox News White House reporter asked President Joe Biden...
Business

Responding to Backlash, There Will Soon Be an Inbred, Anti-Vaxxer White M&M

McLEAN, VIRGINIA -- When executives at Mars, Incorporated approved updates to anthropomorphized human M&M...
Conservative Media

Tucker Carlson Will Rub Reese’s Pieces on His Ken Doll Patch Instead

NEW YORK, NEW YORK -- Fox News host Tucker Carlson is breaking off what...
Criminal Justice

Investigators Find Justice Thomas’ Pubes on Forged Electoral Certificates

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- In an attempt to keep defeated President Donald J. Trump in...
Science & Medicine

Why Didn’t His Natural Immunity to Crashes Keep Him Being Thrown From His Car?

LAKE FARTFACE, MICHIGAN -- Friends and family gathered this week to bury Larry Lombowski,...
LGTBQ+

Matt Walsh is Thinking Very Deeply About Your Genitals. Just Like Jesus.

This week, Daily Caller columnist and podcaster Matt Walsh -- a devout evangelical Christian conservative --...
Criminal Justice

Trump Has Offered to Turn State’s Evidence Against Jared

FARTS-A-LOT-THOUGH, FLORIDA -- In perhaps an unsurprising twist, former President Don Trump has offered...
MAGA News

Experts Agree: Four Out of Five MAGAS Can’t Make Their Cousins Climax

Fascinating new data from the National Institute of Boner and Contraboner Research might be...
Criminal Justice

Can Donald Trump Legally Hire Al Capone’s Lawyer to Defend Him?

Most former presidents metaphorically ride off into the sunset and spend the rest of...
Criminal Justice

Trump’s Lawyers Advise Him to Throw All His Kids Under the Bus, Even the Ones He Wants to Fuck

News out of the New York State's Attorney General's office has not been good...
Criminal Justice

Trump Insists NY Attorney General ‘Should Be Going After John Barron,” Not Him

FARTS-A-LOT-THOUGH, FLORIDA -- A former, one-term, twice permanently impeached, defeated U.S. President lashed out...
Criminal Justice

NY Attorney General: Eric Trump Pleaded the Fifth When Asked to Spell His Name

NEW YORK, NEW YORK -- Overnight, the New York Attorney General announced that she...
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Latest articles

Arts & Entertainment

A Bald Eagle Protecting an American Flag Reminded Me Holocaust Denier JK Rowling Can’t Sue Me

Author JK Rowling is not a fan of transgender people, that much is true....
Criminal Justice

Hillary Clinton Told Me She Has the Free Time to Be a Juror for Trump’s Trials

"...nothing would make me happier than to help make sure Donald Trump got the...
Women's Rights

The State of Arizona Just Sent Me the Pink Slip for My Wife’s Uterus

"...my wife and I weren't planning any excursions through Arizona to begin with. However,...
Criminal Justice

Marjorie Taylor Greene Told Me Her New Theory: Hunter’s Dick Pics Caused New York’s Earthquakes

"...when I was researching Hunter's dick pics again last night, I noticed something I...

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