Monthly Archives: December, 2022

Experts Agree: Four Out of Five MAGAS Can’t Make Their Cousins Climax

Fascinating new data from the National Institute of Boner and Contraboner Research might be quite devastating for residents of red states. According to the NIBCR's newly published report, 80% of males who self-identify as "MAGA" are unable to bring their...

Trump Insists NY Attorney General ‘Should Be Going After John Barron,” Not Him

FARTS-A-LOT-THOUGH, FLORIDA -- A former, one-term, twice permanently impeached, defeated U.S. President lashed out at New York Attorney General Letitia James this morning, issuing a statement he was barred from sharing on any of his former social media accounts. Last...

Joe Rogan Took a Shower Live on His Podcast and Still Didn’t Believe Water is Wet

FT. STUPID, TEXAS -- Former reality-TV game show host, podcaster, and world's foremost infectious disease expert Joe Rogan doesn't believe that water is wet, and even taking a shower, live on his podcast, did not change his mind. It all...

Analysis: 90% of Videos on Rumble Are Dan Bongino Hate-Spanking to AOC Clips

SWILLY CORN VALLEY, CALIFORNIA -- Recently, right-wing agitator Dan Bongino was temporarily suspended from posting videos to his YouTube account, which was also simultaneously demonetized. Bongino, according to YouTube, had violated their company policy on COVID related disinformation. Bongino wrote...

Gaetz’ Girlfriend Skipped Driver’s Ed Class to Testify Before Grand Jury

This week, a former girlfriend of Congressman Matt Gaetz (Q-FL) testified before a grand jury. Several legal experts have noted that this could spell boatloads of trouble for the embattled elected official, who is under investigation for sex trafficking...

Fauci to Paul: “In My Non Self-Certified Medical Opinion, You’re a Bitch-Ass Lying Traitor”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- After two years of the global COVID-19 pandemic and the federal government's response to it, one thing is certain -- there is absolutely no love lost between Dr. Anthony Fauci, a real medical doctor, and Sen....

Man Sues God For Taking Betty White and Bob Saget When Trump Was ‘Still a Very Good Option’

KINGDOM OF HEAVEN, ETERNITY -- 2022 is not quite two weeks old, and already a handful of famous, beloved celebrities have passed on -- and that fact has just landed Larry "God" Schumway back in civil court, the subject...

Ted Cruz Insists He Can Gargle Tucker and Trump’s Fruit Baskets Simultaneously

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Two days ago, Sen. Ted Cruz (Q-Cancun) described the events of January 6th, 2021 using factual terms that appropriately define what happened that day. Cruz, speaking in a Senate hearing, called former President Don Trump's failed...

This One Simple Trick Could Have Saved Ashli Babbitt’s Life

Last year, former one term, twice permanently impeached President Don Trump was still, technically speaking, the sitting President of the United States. He was a lame duck president at the time, with just two weeks left before he was...

Trump to Mark Anniversary of Jan. 6th by Storming McDonald’s Playground He Was Kicked Out Of

FARTS A LOT, THOUGH -- FLORIDA --Tomorrow will mark the one year anniversary of Donald Trump's failed coup attempt of January 6th, 2021. Initially, the former, one term, twice forever impeached president planned to hold a big press event,...

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Experts Agree: Four Out of Five MAGAS Can’t Make Their Cousins Climax

Fascinating new data from the National Institute of Boner and Contraboner Research might be quite devastating for residents of...