Monthly Archives: October, 2021

Starbucks Rolls Out Hanukkah, Kwanza, Church of Satan Holiday Cups

SEATTLE, WASHINGTON -- Coffee purveyor Starbucks announced three new holiday cups will start making their way to stores this week. During the presser, Starbucks acknowledged the outrage among some evangelical Christians display on an annual basis, each time Starbucks' holiday...

Greene Accuses Biden of ‘Using Critical Race Theory’ to Remove “White” from “White Christmas”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Freshman Congressmare Marjorie Taylor Greene (Q-GA) appeared on Steve Bannon's podcast today and floated a fresh conspiracy theory -- Joe Biden wants to "radically alter" a classic holiday song. "Steve, I was talking to my buddy who...

Manchin: “If Rubbing Coal on My Balls Isn’t Doing Enough for Climate Change, That’s On You”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- After a defeat for his party in Virginia, and with another potential loss still in the offing over in New Jersey, alleged Democratic Sen. Joe Manchin is still not committed to passing more of President Joe...

Man Apologizes for Losing Track of His Dick Long Enough for It to Become Fox News Host

BALLCRUST VALLEY, CALIFORNIA -- It's a time in his life Jack Strohkinoff will never forget. "Up to that point, I was known as the guy who never lost a damn thing. Not my keys. Not the TV remote. Nothing," Strohkinoff...

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Experts Agree: Four Out of Five MAGAS Can’t Make Their Cousins Climax

Fascinating new data from the National Institute of Boner and Contraboner Research might be quite devastating for residents of...