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Monthly Archives: September, 2021

Tech

You Can’t Call Me an “Incel” If I Fuck My Cybertruck

The following editorial was written and submitted by right-wing author and 2020 Trump Campaign...
Arts & Entertainment

A Bald Eagle Protecting an American Flag Reminded Me Holocaust Denier JK Rowling Can’t Sue Me

Author JK Rowling is not a fan of transgender people, that much is true....
The Bible Belt

TX Man Unsure Whether to Let Cousin Die From Complications or Sue Her For Getting Abortion

SHITLIP, TEXAS -- Bill Williamson has found himself in some rather unforeseen circumstances before,...
U.S. Politics

Local Fuckface Still Crying and Lying About Losing

FARTS-A LOT-GO, FLORIDUH -- Residents of America's Dong State are probably used to hosting...
World News

Greene Volunteers to Help Border Patrol at the Southern Border and Bring Her Own Saddle

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Yesterday, images of border patrol agents on horseback, using reins as...
Business

Bleach and Coat Hangers Sold Out in 65% of Texas Counties

In well over half of the counties in Texas, consumers won't be able to...
Science & Medicine

Cruz: “As Soon as Trump Gives Them Back, I’ll Know If Getting Vaccinated Changed My Balls”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Last week, noted virologist and "Wet Ass Pussy" composer Nicki Minaj...
Science & Medicine

Trump Jr. Mocks Biden for Not Having a Windmill Cancer Vaccine Approved Yet

A smug Donald Trump, Jr. appeared on OAN this morning with anchor Jack "Rape...
U.S. Politics

Early Data Shows Justice for J6 Rally Drew Crowd With More Teeth Than IQ Points

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- On Saturday, organizers held the "Justice for J6" rally in the...
U.S. Politics

AZ Election Auditors Claim Nicki Minaj’s Cousin’s Friend’s Balls Switched Votes to Biden

RUBEVILLE, ARIZONA -- This week Cyber Ninjas, the company hired by the Arizona Republican...
Women's Rights

Poll Shows Majority Approves of Aborting Texas

A few weeks back, Texas legislators passed a new six-week restriction on abortion procedures...
Science & Medicine

Ivanka Confirms No Change in Her Dad’s Balls Since Getting COVID-19 Vaccine

NEPOTISM LAKE, FLORIDUH -- It's probably the most frequently asked question at every American...
Science & Medicine

Harvard Med School Opens the Nicki Minaj’s Cousin’s Friend’s Balls Virology Research Center

CAMBRIDGE, MASSACHUSETTS -- Harvard Medical School has accepted a large grant from pop star...
World News

Milley Advised China to Send McNuggets to the White House to Appease Trump

During the final days of the Trump administration, a new book reveals that Retired...
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Tech

You Can’t Call Me an “Incel” If I Fuck My Cybertruck

The following editorial was written and submitted by right-wing author and 2020 Trump Campaign...
Arts & Entertainment

A Bald Eagle Protecting an American Flag Reminded Me Holocaust Denier JK Rowling Can’t Sue Me

Author JK Rowling is not a fan of transgender people, that much is true....
Criminal Justice

Hillary Clinton Told Me She Has the Free Time to Be a Juror for Trump’s Trials

"...nothing would make me happier than to help make sure Donald Trump got the...
Women's Rights

The State of Arizona Just Sent Me the Pink Slip for My Wife’s Uterus

"...my wife and I weren't planning any excursions through Arizona to begin with. However,...

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