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Monthly Archives: September, 2021

Tech

You Can’t Call Me an “Incel” If I Fuck My Cybertruck

The following editorial was written and submitted by right-wing author and 2020 Trump Campaign...
Arts & Entertainment

A Bald Eagle Protecting an American Flag Reminded Me Holocaust Denier JK Rowling Can’t Sue Me

Author JK Rowling is not a fan of transgender people, that much is true....
MAGA News

Republicans Outraged Milley Showed More Loyalty to Country Than Trump’s Balls

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- For decades, the American people heard a steady refrain from the...
The Democrats

Kyrsten Sinema Fondly Remembers Duping Arizona Voters Into Believing She’s a Democrat

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- When Kyrsten Sinema was chosen by Arizona voters to replace the...
MAGA News

God: “I Have No Fucking Clue Who This Mango Craycray Greene Is”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Today, House Democrats passed a bill that, if signed into law,...
Science & Medicine

Flynn: “Q Told Me Biden is Putting COVID Vaccines in Busch Beer and Marlboro Reds”

Disgraced former General Mike Flynn is pretty sure that the Biden administration is sneaking...
Science & Medicine

Are You Selfish or Just a Puss-Weed For Not Getting Vaccinated or Wearing a Mask?

It's a question as old as time itself. Well, it's as old as how...
U.S. Politics

Rip Van Winkle Worries Chuck Grassley Too Young and Inexperienced for Eighth Term

This morning, the living carbon fossil Chuck Grassley announced that he would be running...
Conservative Media

McEnany Blames Murder Rate Spike in 2020 on ‘Anti-Trumper Criminals’ Helping Biden’s Campaign

This morning, former White House Chief Bullshit Artist Kayleigh McEnany tweeted and quickly deleted...
MAGA News

Trump Warns Boebert He’ll Never Be President Again if Potential Rape Victims Are Armed

FARTS-A LOT-GO, FLORIDUH -- Former one-term, twice forever impeached President Donald J. Trump issued...
MAGA News

Dead Heat in “Dumbest Donald Trump in the World” Competition

FARTS-A LOT-GO, FLORIDUH -- An annual competition to find the world's dumbest man named...
Science & Medicine

Med Tech Company Develops “Trump 5000” Ventilator With Built-In MAGA Hat

SWILLY CORN VALLEY, CALIFORNIA -- A company that specializes in designing medical technology announced...
U.S. Politics

Boebert and Greene File Articles of Impeachment Against Hunter Biden’s Laptop

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- When Democrats and a handful of vertebrate Republicans impeached Donald Trump...
Lifestyle

Stephen Miller Hospitalized With ‘Self-Inflicted Crotch Wound’ After Watching Border Patrol Whip Brown People

REICH LAGOON, FLORIDA -- Former White House senior race war adviser Stephen Miller is...
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Tech

You Can’t Call Me an “Incel” If I Fuck My Cybertruck

The following editorial was written and submitted by right-wing author and 2020 Trump Campaign...
Arts & Entertainment

A Bald Eagle Protecting an American Flag Reminded Me Holocaust Denier JK Rowling Can’t Sue Me

Author JK Rowling is not a fan of transgender people, that much is true....
Criminal Justice

Hillary Clinton Told Me She Has the Free Time to Be a Juror for Trump’s Trials

"...nothing would make me happier than to help make sure Donald Trump got the...
Women's Rights

The State of Arizona Just Sent Me the Pink Slip for My Wife’s Uterus

"...my wife and I weren't planning any excursions through Arizona to begin with. However,...

© James Schlarmann (All Material is Satirical)