Monthly Archives: April, 2021

Thoughts and Prayers Stop Next Mass Shooter Just Before He Pulls the Trigger

COUSINLOVER, ALABAMA -- Some are calling it a "miracle." Others are calling it a once-in-a-lifetime occurrence. However one chooses to describe it, however, the...

Babylon Bee Publishes The N-Word “Satirically”

Fans of comedy and satire might not recognize anything that the website publishes as being remotely related to them, but that has not, as...

Gaetz: “Every Fetus Deserves a Fighting Chance to Become My Sex Object In 17 Years”

While the scandal surrounding him may not be showing any signs of subsiding just yet, Congressman Matt Gaetz (Q-FL) has shown no signs of...

Doctors Break the News to Stephen Miller: He’ll Always Look Like a Penis

It's news none of us want to get. According to published medical journals, however, it's ness that one in every seven billion people suffer...

MAGA Fan Will Boycott Coke and Drink Trump’s Piss Instead

FUCKWIT FALLS, NEW JERSEY -- Will Ricciarlumbo will never, ever put his lips to a bottle of Coke again, if he can at all...

He Hates Cancel Culture So He’s Boycotting Coke, MLB, Delta, and the 14th Amendment

SHITLIP, NEW JERSEY -- 27 year old Marcus Palumbo absolutely, positively hates "cancel culture." He can't define it with any kind of real precision,...

Al Franken Offers to Fill-In for Gaetz While He Figures Out That Whole Sex Trafficking Thing

MINNESOTA -- Former Senator Al Franken is reportedly open to taking over embattled Florida Republican Matt Gaetz' congressional seat until his impending legal troubles...

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