Monthly Archives: February, 2021

Matt Gaetz Tells CPAC He Won’t Let Trump ‘Pull Out Until He Finishes’

Humor/Satire James Schlarmann - 0
A visibly evident and olfactorily confirmed drunk Rep. Matt Gaetz (Q-FL) slurred and stammered his way through a long-winded speech today during the 2021...
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Update: Stephen Miller is Still a Bald, Racist Cunt

Humor/Satire James Schlarmann - 0
When one thinks back on the four year diarrhea buffet that was the Trump administration, it's hard not to, at some point, think about...
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Marjorie Taylor Greene Requests Medical Crack Exception From House Leadership

Humor/Satire James Schlarmann - 0
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Congresswoman Marjorie Taylor Greene has a lot of time on her hands, now that she's been completely stripped of her committee...
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Surgeon General Recommends Shitting on Ted Cruz Twice Daily

Humor/Satire James Schlarmann - 0
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The acting Surgeon General of the United States has issued a new set of guidelines for the continued health and well-being...
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United Airlines Ending Its Frequent Fuckface Miles Program

Humor/Satire James Schlarmann - 0
United Airlines has announced that after careful consideration of the events of the past 48 hours they will be ending their Frequent Fuckface Miles...
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Pat Robertson: God Will Warm Texas If He Stops Watching “Magic Mike” for Research Purposes Twelve Times a Week

Humor/Satire James Schlarmann - 0
VIRGINIA BEACH, VIRGINIA -- Living fossil and televangelist Pat Robertson often speaks to God about what's going in the United States. In particular, Robertson...
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Satan Tells Limbaugh to ‘Fuck Off Out Of Here’

Humor/Satire James Schlarmann - 0
HELL -- Satan "Billy" Beelzebub does not want recently deceased radio host Rush Limbaugh "anywhere within 500 eternal yards" of Hell, and he made...
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Jim Jordan Blames Cancel Culture for His Miniscule Dick

Humor/Satire James Schlarmann - 0
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Congressman Jim Jordan has a very, very, very, very small dick. Jordan's dick is so small that Former President Donald Trump's dick...
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Senate Republicans Wish Every American a Happy Sucking-Off Insurrectionist Former Presidents Day!

Humor/Satire James Schlarmann - 0
Today, kids all across America are off from school, banks are closed, and the mail isn't running because it's a federal holiday. Today is...
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Impeachment: Hawley Says He Hasn’t Heard Convincing Evidence From Within Trump’s Peepee Hole

Humor/Satire James Schlarmann - 0
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- From his vantage point, Senator Josh Hawley (Q-MO) says he hasn't seen any evidence that should convict the former president of...
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Babylon Bee Staff Identify as Comedians Though They Share Only One Joke Between Them

Humor/Satire James Schlarmann - 0
In practice, they're a cadre of Christofascists who wrap their theocratic beliefs in the banner of alleged "satire." However, on paper and official government...
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Former President Says His Balls are ‘Really Bigly Missing’ Devin Nunes and Ted Cruz These Days

Humor/Satire James Schlarmann - 0
LAKE DUMFUK, FLORIDA -- He hasn't even been out of power for a full month yet, but sources close to the 45th President of...
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