Monthly Archives: December, 2020

Biden Suggests Injecting Bleach Into Mop Buckets

DELAWARE -- When he said it, the entire room took notice. "Call me crazy, but I think if you're looking to get things really clean...

Experts Warn the Next Republican Coup Attempt Could Be a Lot Less Stupid

What would happen if there was a coup attempted by one political party in the United States of America after, imagine, they lost the...

Hannity Says Trump Is ‘Still the Manliest Sore Loser Cry Baby Bitch’ He’s Ever Known

With each passing day, President Donald Trump's time in office grows shorter. It started with Election Day, then continued through several recounts. Then, Trump...

MyPillow Guy Lovingly Fucks Every MyPillow Before It Becomes Your MyPillow

There are very few people in Corporate America who love outgoing, one-term, permanently impeached, lame duck President Donald Trump more than the MyPillow Guy....

Jim Jordan Wonders if There’s a Connection Between Benghazi, Hillary’s Kill List, Biden’s Election Cheating

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- If it doesn't involve college wrestlers in his care, then Congressman Jim Jordan will be the most tenacious investigator of accused...

Chanel Rion, Sean Hannity, Ted Cruz Argue Over What Exactly Donald Trump’s Taint Tastes Like

It got ugly, it got heated, and sixteen hours later, three of President Donald Trump's most loyal sycophants were not any closer to settling...

Last Week, Ted Cruz Met With Trump’s Balls for a Supreme Court Argument Strategy Sesh

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The Supreme Court of the United States will not hear the suit brought by the Attorney General of Texas against four...

Trump Officially Transitions Eric and Don Jr. to Joe Biden

As of the time of publication, this outlet can confirm that the Trump administration has begun the process of legally transitioning the president's least...

Outgoing President Trump Mulling One More Popular Vote Loss in 2024

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Admitting it publicly will not and cannot change his fate, and within a little over a month's time, Donald John Trump...

Nervous Ivanka Asks President Daddy If She’d Get Secret Service Protection in Jail

Did Ivanka Trump illegally steer money earmarked for her dad's presidential inauguration into Trump Organization's coffers? That's why she gave testimony in a deposition...

Heartbroken Trump Boys Think They Have to Call Joe Biden “Daddy” Now

NEW YORK, NEW YORK -- When or if President Donald Trump acknowledges his stinging, definitive defeat at the hands of the U.S. electorate is...

Trump Asks Pentagon to ‘Quietly’ Put a Dozen F-35 Jets in His Florida Storage Unit

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- While he continues to wage losing legal battles to upend last month's election results, outgoing President Donald Trump has reportedly started...

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