Monthly Archives: November, 2020

President Finds It Hard To Believe 80 Million Fuckin’ Assholes and Losers Voted For Biden and Not Him

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- In the final analysis, President Donald J. Trump says he's "just not convinced" and "can't really understand" how he lost to...

Trump Supporter Presents Mexico With Bill for “Billions of Miles of Trump’s Wall”

COLD CAVE HILLS TENNESSEE -- Right-wing podcaster and singer/songwriter Jethro Bohiggins told his fans this week that he is "still processing" the fact that...

Housekeeping Unsure How Long It Will Take to Fumigate Stench of Stupid from White House

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Perhaps its current occupant is still unwilling to face facts, but the simple truth is that on January 20th, 2021, a...

Coronavirus Placed on 24-Hour Suicide Watch

Authorities are telling us that the novel coronavirus, known globally as "Covid-19," has been put on a constant, 24-hour suicide watch over the last...

Kellyanne Conway Chose…Poorly

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- In hindsight, her friends and family say that White House senior adviser Kellyanne Conway realizes she made quite a few mistakes...

5 Fun Facts About Sidney Powell, The Rat-Faced Scarecrow Attempting to Steal Our Election

Yesterday, former New York Mayor Rudy Giuliani -- whose only role in society now is to be President Donald Trump's drunken, self-dick-fondling fixer --...

Obama Warns Biden Against Tan Suits and Dijon Mustards

SECRET KENYAN SHARIA BUNKER -- Outgoing President Donald J. Trump may not want to admit it quite yet, but he lost his reelection bid...

Half of Republicans Think Trump Won Re-election and Santa Claus Will Deliver the Evidence Christmas Eve

A new poll published by Reuters today shows that half of Republicans -- roughly 25-30% of the electorate -- believes that Donald Trump won...

Palpatine Demands Death Star Recount, Claims Empire Won the Battle of Yavin

CORUSCANT -- Emperor Palpatine refuses to concede the Battle of Yavin the Rebel Alliance. Despite visual evidence that his highly-touted Death Star was blown...

Lying Fuck Reminds America The Constitution Says He’s Not Done Lying To Them Until January 21st, 2021

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Almost two weeks ago, an unctuous, fatuous, impetuous, deluded lying fuck ran for reelection to the highest, most powerful office in...

Biden Supports Recounts So ‘Americans Can Watch Trump Lose As Many Times As He Wants’

WINURZ, DELAWARE -- This morning, President-Elect Joe Biden was spotted taking a stroll with his German Shepherd, Major, at a coffee shop just a...

This Big Ol’ Impeached Pile of Whiny Bitch Couldn’t Even Win the Popular Vote Once In Two Tries!

Let's play a little guessing game! Can you guess, from the hints we give you below, who this person is? HINT #1: He is the...

Archives

Latest articles