Monthly Archives: October, 2020

Asshole Dresses as President for Final Halloween in the White House

Humor/Satire James Schlarmann - 0
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- For the fourth consecutive year, the asshole who lives in the White House has chosen his Halloween costume, and he's chosen...
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Biden Plans to Deploy Official Democrat Antifa Squads In the Event of Post-Election Civil Unrest

Humor/Satire James Schlarmann - 0
SCHLANGE LAKE, FLORIDA -- Just after concluding a campaign stop in Florida this morning, Democratic presidential candidate Joe Biden told reporters that if he...
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Televangelist Publishes “MAGA-Friendly” Bible Just Three Pages Long

Humor/Satire James Schlarmann - 0
HOLY OAK, VIRGINIA -- Bill Millen, a self-described "televangelist for Trump," told his flock today that he has released a new, "MAGA-friendly" edition of...
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Ivanka: “America Needs the Leadership of Small Hands and Even Smaller Genitals”

Humor/Satire James Schlarmann - 0
OLD BALLS, FLORIDA -- Addressing a rally for her father, held in a small city just a few miles south of Orlando, First Lady...
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Merriam-Webster Redefines the Word “Cunty”

Humor/Satire James Schlarmann - 0
The fact of the matter is that English, like all language, is an artform and communication tool constantly in a state of evolution. Slang...
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Justice Barrett Gets Permission from Husband to Start First Day on Supreme Court

Humor/Satire James Schlarmann - 0
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- All the hearings had been held. All the votes, for and against her confirmation had been cast. Her oaths had been...
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FBI Investigating Contents of Eric Trump’s See ‘n Say

Humor/Satire James Schlarmann - 0
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- A truly stunning announcement was just made by the FBI at its headquarters in the nation's capital. "Just after lunch time, one...
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Trump Demands Every Vote Cast For Him Is Counted ‘At Least Once’

Humor/Satire James Schlarmann - 0
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- With just over a week to go until Election Day, President Donald Trump is demanding that state election boards ensure votes...
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Matt Gaetz Says ‘Trump’s Bootyhole Had the Dewy Essence of Victory’ After Final Debate With Biden

Humor/Satire James Schlarmann - 0
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Congressman Matt Gaetz, a Republican from Florida, makes no bones about his support for President Donald Trump. His loyalty is complete,...
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Cousin Fucker Says He Wasn’t Fondling His Cousin Fucking Junk No Matter How Much It Looks Like It

Humor/Satire James Schlarmann - 0
One of the world's most famous cousin fuckers is denying that he was doing anything inappropriate in a now widely-discussed scene from an upcoming...
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To Sidestep Having His Mic Cut, Trump Plans to Share Biden’s Podium

Humor/Satire James Schlarmann - 0
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Trump absolutely loves to interrupt and talk over his debate opponents. He did it to Hillary Clinton consistently in their...
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Through Tears of Joy, Lung Cancer Tells Radio Audience Its Stage 4 Limbaugh Infection Has ‘Almost Run Its Course’

Humor/Satire James Schlarmann - 0
CHINGADERO GORDO, FLORIDA -- Fighting through tears of joy, Lung Cancer told its radio audience today that it was "pleased and excited" to announce...
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