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Monthly Archives: September, 2020

Criminal Justice

Hillary Clinton Told Me She Has the Free Time to Be a Juror for Trump’s Trials

"...nothing would make me happier than to help make sure Donald Trump got the...
Women's Rights

The State of Arizona Just Sent Me the Pink Slip for My Wife’s Uterus

"...my wife and I weren't planning any excursions through Arizona to begin with. However,...
U.S. Politics

Barr Suggests Charging People Who Vote for Biden With Sedition

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- In the history of the United States, very, very few people...
MAGA News

Trump: “All Lives Matter Except in Blue States”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- It's no big secret that President Donald Trump has spent a...
MAGA News

Pussy Grabbing Predator With 25 Credible Allegations of Sexual Assault Can’t Wait to Bring Up Biden’s Past

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- In the nation's capital, there is a 74-year-old pussy grabbing alleged...
Science & Medicine

Joe Biden Uses Teleprompter to Read the Names of 200,000 Americans Who Died from Covid-19

LAGO DEL CRIMINAL GENOCIDA, FLORIDA -- Today, Joe Biden made a campaign stop in...
U.S. Politics

ABC Town Hall Unfairly Ambushes Dear President With Questions from American Voters

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Last night, ABC hosted a town hall discussion with President Donald John Trump,...
Arts & Entertainment

Local Witch Casts “ShutTheFuckUpicus Totallus” Curse on JK Rowling

GODRIC'S HOLLOW, LONDON, UK, THE WIZARDING WORLD -- While it's unclear at this time...
MAGA News

Trump Offers to Loan Army’s Bomb Sniffing Dogs to California

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- If California wants them, President Donald Trump says they can have...
Science & Medicine

Newly Discovered Life on Venus Declines Offer to Be Taken to Our Leader

BLEEPBLORP, VENUS -- 2020 has been quite a year. "One for the record books,"...
Conservative Media

Alabama GOP Outraged ‘Cuties’ Director Didn’t Invite Roy Moore to World Premiere

BONINSISTERS, ALABAMA -- The Alabama Republican Party issued a scathing rebuke of the controversial...
Criminal Justice

Convicted Killer Set Free After Showing Up To Sentencing in a Blue Shirt and Badge

FORT ACAB, TENNESSEE -- A man convicted of first degree murder was unexpectedly released...
Conservative Media

Idiot Wants Moron to Moderate Debate With Biden

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The 2020 presidential election is just over 50 days away, and...
MAGA News

Man Who Intentionally Wiped Out 200k Americans Outraged Mueller’s Agents Accidentally Wiped Their Phones

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- If there's one thing we know about Trump supporters, it's that...
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Criminal Justice

Hillary Clinton Told Me She Has the Free Time to Be a Juror for Trump’s Trials

"...nothing would make me happier than to help make sure Donald Trump got the...
Women's Rights

The State of Arizona Just Sent Me the Pink Slip for My Wife’s Uterus

"...my wife and I weren't planning any excursions through Arizona to begin with. However,...
Criminal Justice

Marjorie Taylor Greene Told Me Her New Theory: Hunter’s Dick Pics Caused New York’s Earthquakes

"...when I was researching Hunter's dick pics again last night, I noticed something I...
Lifestyle

Because of DEI, My Black Friends Don’t Like My Confederate Flag Collection No More

The following editorial was written by right-wing podcaster and singer/songwriter Jethro Q. Bohiggins. The...

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