Monthly Archives: September, 2020

A Complete List of All the Daughter Lusting White Collar Criminals Who Smoked Nazi Pole During a Presidential Debate

When you're living in historic times, sometimes it's hard to recognize, contemporaneously, just how historic those times might be. ALSO: Eric Finds Daddy’s Next Tax...

300 lb. Toddler Throws 90-Minute Tantrum

CLEVELAND, OHIO -- A massive, 300-pound orange toddler stood on a stage with former Vice President Joe Biden last night and threw what scholars...

Eric Finds Daddy’s Next Tax Payment in White House Sofa Cushions

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- "Daddy! Daddy! Come quick! I just found a butt load of money, and we can keep it all, Daddy!" ALSO: Trump Thought...

Biden Thanks Orange Garbage Bag Full of Molten, Diarrhea for Preparing Him to Debate Trump

CLEVELAND, OHIO -- Tonight, after months of anticipation, the first presidential debate of the 2020 election season between former Vice President Joe Biden and...

Trump Thought IRS Stood For “I Repulsed Stormy”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- According to an explosive new report in The New York Times, President Donald Trump paid only $750 in taxes in the years 2017...

Barrett Promises to Leave Her Religion Out of Legal Opinions as Long as God and Her Husband Say She Can

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The nation's capital is dug in for one hell of a fight. There seems to be very little doubt that Senate...

Lindsey Graham Offering ‘Handies and Half-and-Halfs’ to Campaign Donors

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Senator Lindsey Graham (R-Trump's Taint) has not been coy or reticent about describing the dire situation his re-election campaign is in....

Well That’s It. The Republicans Have Convinced Me. I am NOT Voting for Hunter Biden!

Editor's Note: The following is an editorial written by the Editor In Chief and Head Fuckwit of The Political Garbage Chute, James "Jambo" Schlarmann. The views and...

Louisville DA: “Black Lives Matter, But Drywall Matters Enough to Charge Someone”

LOUISVILLE, KENTUCKY -- A night of civil unrest in Louisville unfolded yesterday after it was announced that no formal charges would be brought against...

Cruz: “The Senate Must Fill Ginsburg’s Seat and Secure a Permanent Majority for the Overwhelming Minority”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Unsurprisingly, Congressional Republicans have been giving interviews and making social media posts supporting President Donald Trump nominating a replacement for the...

Romney Had Spine Removed So He Could Suck Trump’s Dick

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Shocking absolutely, positively nobody, Sen. Mitt Romney (R-Utah) announced today that he would support his party's push to ram a replacement...

Taliban Endorses Judge Amy Coney Barrett for Supreme Court Justice

AFGHANISTAN -- The Taliban have issued the following statement, in their words "fully and completely endorsing fellow Religious Zealot" Judge Amy Coney Barrett to...

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