New 2020 Polls Show Chrissy Teigen Leads President P**sy A** B**ch In Head-to-Head Matchup

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Currently, the RealClearPolitics polling averages show that next year’s presidential election could leave many supporters of the president with a rude awakening come the day after Americans vote. Polling shows the president down to Sen. Bernie Sanders, former Vice President Joe Biden, and against Senators Elizabeth Warren and Kamala Harris, most polls show him losing, but a couple show him tied. Now, a brand new snap poll brings the president even less welcome news.

In a new survey conducted by We Poll You So Hard, one of the nation’s top polling companies, model and actress Chrissy Teigen has a commanding 65 point lead over President Pussy Ass Bitch. Ms. Teigen of course gave the president this moniker after he savagely attacked her on Twitter a couple of nights ago. Apparently insulted by a show focused on criminal justice reform that didn’t mention his name or that he signed a criminal justice reform bill into law, Trump lashed out at Teigen and her husband, composer John Legend, calling Teigen “filthy mouthed.”

Teigen, a savvy social media user, wasted no time throwing metric tonnes of shade at President PAB. Though Twitter’s algorithm wouldn’t allow #PresidentPussyAssBitch to trend, variations on it did. The new polling from We Poll You suggests that Teigen’s message of the president being a pussy ass bitch is resonating with voters.

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“It’s tough to say at this point which of the two hundred thirty five Democratic candidates still in the race will end up with the nomination, or if they can defeat President Pussy Ass Bitch,” Kathy McCatherine, We Poll You’s media liaison told reporters, “However, what is unmistakable is that if Ms. Teigen enters the race, she will wipe the floor with him. Like, it wouldn’t even be remotely close.”

It’s unclear at this time if Teigen has any ambitions to enter the political arena. McCatherine says that even if she doesn’t, Ms. Teigen may have already exerted a “healthy amount of influence” on the election. McCatherine suggests that the Democrats may be able to co-opt the presidential nomenclature coined by Teigen, and use it to their advantage.

“Maybe the Dems could start referring to him as President Pussy Ass Bitch in fundraising emails and calls,” McCatherine said, “because it’s a phrase that really rings true with people. There seems to be a mountain of empirical evidence that the occupant of the White House is a pussy ass bitch. It’s another reason she should consider running. Most politicians can’t help but lie, but Ms. Teigen clearly can’t help but tell the unvarnished truth. He really is a pussy ass bitch.”

Ms. McCatherine says that next year’s debates could be “real barn burners” if if whoever is debating Trump picks up on Teigen’s cues.

“Maybe they don’t have to use the specific phrase Chrissy used,” McCatherine said. “They could do variations. President Whiny Ass Cuck and President Bitch Ass Bitchy Fuck also have quite a ring to them. Then again, the classic, President Wants to Fuck His Daughter could also be leveraged to great success.”

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Writer/comedian James Schlarmann is the founder of The Political Garbage Chute and his work has been featured on The Huffington Post. You can follow James on Facebook, Spotify, and Instagram, but not Twitter because they have a definition of hate speech that includes “calling Ann Coulter the C-word.”

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