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Monthly Archives: December, 2017

Tech

You Can’t Call Me an “Incel” If I Fuck My Cybertruck

The following editorial was written and submitted by right-wing author and 2020 Trump Campaign...
Arts & Entertainment

A Bald Eagle Protecting an American Flag Reminded Me Holocaust Denier JK Rowling Can’t Sue Me

Author JK Rowling is not a fan of transgender people, that much is true....
MAGA News

Local Holocaust Denier Outraged To Find Out Trump’s A Climate Denier Too

MINE CAMP, WEST VIRGINIA -- Chad Skeeter is a 37 year old white nationalist...
Lifestyle

Putin Dictates Trump’s New Year’s Resolutions To Him

MOSCOW, RUSSIA -- Today, Russian President Vladimir Putin made a phone call to Secondary...
The Bible Belt

Roy Moore Says Elections Are ‘Like Teenage Girls,’ And Refuses To Pull Out Of Race He Lost

PEDURAST, ALABAMA -- Former Alabama judge Roy Moore lost a hotly contested election earlier...
Arts & Entertainment

All The Ways The Last Jedi Is A Totally New Departure For Star Wars And Nothing Like The Other Films

The fan reaction to the latest Star Wars movie has been mixed, to say the least....
MAGA News

On 16th Tee, Trump Unveils New National Security Strategy Of “Ooga Booga Muslims!”

MAR-A-LAGO -- Not wanting to be accused of vacationing too much during his first...
War on Christmas

CDC Reports 65% Fewer “Happy Holidays” Related Heart Attacks This Christmas Weekend

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Donald Trump declared victory for the forces of Merry Christmas...
Science & Medicine

Tomi Lahren Wants NASA To Rename Black Holes Because ‘All Holes Matter’

VAPID VALLEY, TEXAS -- Conservative right-wing firebrand commentator and Fox News contributor Tributary Lahren...
History

Trump Declares South Electoral College Winners Of Civil War

MAR-A-LAGO, FLORIDA -- Just hours after triumphantly declaring a victory in the War on...
MAGA News

General Trump Declares Victory In The War On Christmas

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- A strident and victorious General Donald Trump -- President of The...
MAGA News

Santa Claus Apologizes For Trump Of Coal He Put In Entire World’s Stockings Last Year

HIGH ABOVE PLANET EARTH -- The world is a very big place, and when...
Science & Medicine

Donald Trump Jr. To Have Breakthrough Plastic Surgery For His ‘Chronic Jizz Face’

NEW YORK, NEW YORK -- The president's son will be undergoing a radical, experimental...
Business

Keurig Releases Roy Moore Model That Uses 14-Year Old Covfefe Pods

READING, MASSACHUSETTS -- In the face of a conservative boycott of their products, Keurig...
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Tech

You Can’t Call Me an “Incel” If I Fuck My Cybertruck

The following editorial was written and submitted by right-wing author and 2020 Trump Campaign...
Arts & Entertainment

A Bald Eagle Protecting an American Flag Reminded Me Holocaust Denier JK Rowling Can’t Sue Me

Author JK Rowling is not a fan of transgender people, that much is true....
Criminal Justice

Hillary Clinton Told Me She Has the Free Time to Be a Juror for Trump’s Trials

"...nothing would make me happier than to help make sure Donald Trump got the...
Women's Rights

The State of Arizona Just Sent Me the Pink Slip for My Wife’s Uterus

"...my wife and I weren't planning any excursions through Arizona to begin with. However,...

© James Schlarmann (All Material is Satirical)