Me-owwww! Things are heating up on the lame new reality-TV political show, President Donald...

"It's every American's solemn, God given right to own as many semi-automatic rifles as they want."

"I don't think anyone saying Happy Holidays will do anywhere near the same damage as the hurricane."

"Even Vanka's been too busy lately to come. Or visit."

"Their thin candy shells will be no match for our nook-you-ler missiles."

“Stealing Ideas is the Sincerest Form of Flattery.”

Those who attend the Values Voter Summit can expect to be given the religious conservative viewpoint on a whole host of topics from abortion, to abortion, to also abortion, and oh, probably they'll mention something about dead babies after they mention abortion.

"Why should some rich guy pay for my medicine just because he's already hiding billions of dollars from the rest of us in offshore accounts?"

"In times of great need, sometimes we all have to sacrifice. And by 'we all' I of course mean the plebs."

"Wasteful government spending is when you help poor families eat, not when you fly in jet planes to get fake mad at athletes protesting civil injustice."

"I was never able to get him to put my lovely First Lady in the pages of his magazine."

"Do they have any idea what a threat to the American way of life it is for them to peacefully protest?"