Monthly Archives: April, 2017

Who Hasn’t Told a Woman She Reminds Us of Our Child Right Before We Put Our Penis In Her?

"Turns out, most of us don't think about our kids before we fuck someone....

Nothing Says Understanding American Freedom Like Cheering for Teenagers to Get Beaten by Cops

"...one thing I have now learned is that fascism and freedom of speech are...

President Trump Asks Bill O’Reilly to Become His New Head of Female Outreach

President Trump has reportedly reached out to former Fox News host Bill O'Reilly to see if he'd be willing to reach out to same ladies for him.

Jeff Sessions Promises to Make it Clearer When He’s Telling a Racist Joke

Attorney General Jeff Sessions thinks he may have figured out a way to signal to the American people when he's just cracking a racist joke.

President Trump Appoints New National Translator for His Interviews

President Trump, when interviewed, seems to run off into wild, nonsensical tangents quite often. But a new translator might help.

AG Sessions: U.S. Could Pay For Trump’s Border Wall By Repealing 13th Amendment

Paying for Donald Trump's proposed border wall is meeting stiff opposition all over the political spectrum, but his AG has a plan for that.

Trump Announces Next Year U.S. Will Celebrate Flat Earth Day Instead

President Donald Trump indicated that the United States will be celebrating an alternative version of Earth Day next year.

To Celebrate Earth Day, EPA Chief and President Trump Double-Team Inflatable Globe

President Donald Trump and EPA Administrator Scott Pruitt celebrated Earth Day like youd' expect two uber-capitalists would.

Jeff Sessions Apologizes to ‘Any Ocean Negros’ Who Were Offended by His Hawaii Comments

Attorney General Jeff Sessions wants Hawaiians living on those islands in the pacific he's very, very sorry. Truly. Very.

White House Staff Can’t Get Smell of ‘Gun Powder, Chewing Tobacco and Stupid’ Out of Oval Office

When Sarah Palin, Kid Rock, and Ted Nugent visited their new fuhrer in the White House, they left behind something foul smelling.

With O’Reilly Gone, Sean Hannity Hopes To Get Much More One-On-One Time With Trump’s Dick

With Bill O'Reilly no longer at Fox, Sean Hannity is really hoping to get some special, one-on-one time with President Trump.

Bill O’Reilly Seen Filling Out Employment Application at Hooters

Former Fox News icon Bill O'Reilly is in desperate need of a new gig, and might be looking in some surprising places for it.

Donald Trump Jr. To Undergo Plastic Surgery For ‘Chronic Jizz Face’

Donald Trump Jr has a rare but horrifying condition that he has reportedly agreed to undergo a new plastic surgery procedure to remedy.

President Trump Asks if He Can Command Navy With Battleship Board Game Instead

After seeming to lose track of where the USS Carl Vinson was actually heading, President Trump has asked if he can direct the navy in a new way.

Latest articles

Who Hasn’t Told a Woman She Reminds Us of Our Child Right Before We Put Our Penis In Her?

"Turns out, most of us don't think about our kids before we fuck someone....

Nothing Says Understanding American Freedom Like Cheering for Teenagers to Get Beaten by Cops

"...one thing I have now learned is that fascism and freedom of speech are...

Florida’s Abortion Ban Has This Incel Considering a Move to Florida to Start a New Rape Family

"...Big Feminazi has poisoned the women in my life against me just because I...

I Have a Wish List of Things Dark Brandon Should Do With His Presidential Immunity

Some people might really think that if the Supreme Court says presidents have immunity...