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Monthly Archives: March, 2017

Arts & Entertainment

A Bald Eagle Protecting an American Flag Reminded Me Holocaust Denier JK Rowling Can’t Sue Me

Author JK Rowling is not a fan of transgender people, that much is true....
Criminal Justice

Hillary Clinton Told Me She Has the Free Time to Be a Juror for Trump’s Trials

"...nothing would make me happier than to help make sure Donald Trump got the...
MAGA News

Angela Merkel Pays $300 Billion NATO Bill In Monopoly Money, Says It’s ‘Fake Money For A Fake President’

German Chancellor Angela Merkel is really starting to step into the her new role as leader of the free world, and sent a message to Trump.
MAGA News

Trump Returns From Fishing Trip With Catch He Tells Media Is 900-lb. Shark

When coming back to the White House from a fishing trip, President Trump claims to have caught a 900 pound great white shark.
Economy

Paul Ryan Praying God Lets Him Rob Poor People Of Their Access To Doctors Today

Speaker of the House Paul Ryan is reaching out to a higher power to help him take away essential health access from poor people.
MAGA News

Trump Orders DeVos to Hire Breitbart and InfoWars to Revise History Textbooks

Education Secretary Betsy DeVos has announced a new textbook partnership between her department and two right-wing media outlets.
MAGA News

Woman Phones Doctor, Asks If They Take TrumpCare Tax Cuts As Payment For Breast Cancer Treatments

A local woman has some important questions regarding the logistics of TrumpCare, the GOP replacement for Obamacare.
MAGA News

Shortly After Signing Order Declaring All Truth ‘Relative,’ Trump Makes Inappropriate Sexual Comment About It

The truth. Donald Trump doesn't use it. Doesn't know much about it, really. But he does know he absolutely wants to sleep with it now.
MAGA News

Devin Nunes Swears He’ll Be Fair And Independent, Just As Soon He Finishes Trump Off

Devin Nunes can be independent is really not a Trump lackey, guys, he promises. Now let him finish what he was doing before you interrupted.
MAGA News

Local Republican Loves Trumpcare Because It’s A ‘Free Market Death Panel’

A small town Republican has fallen in love with Trumpcare because he sees it as free market eugenics.
MAGA News

Local Man Unsure Trump Should Get To Pick SCOTUS Judge In Possible Impeachment Year

Does an open FBI investigation into someone preclude them from nominating someone to the Supreme Court? Republicans used to think so.
MAGA News

Paul Manafort, Pockets Desperately Bulging With Rubles, Claims He’s A Target of ‘Fake News Witch Hunt’

Former Trump campaign manager Paul Manafort says his questionable connections to Russia are just a made-up fake news story.
MAGA News

Trump’s Wiretapp Flapp Inspires Him To Demand New Tinfoil Curtains For Entire West Wing

All the hub-bub over his accusations that President Obama ordered an illegal wiretap on him has given Trump a new idea for White House decoration.
MAGA News

Trump To Ask Congress For New Tax To Cover Trump Tower, Mar-A-Lago Secret Service Protection

In order to pay for his unusual Secret Service needs, Co-President Donald Trump is prepared to ask Congress for a new tax on the American people.
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Latest articles

Arts & Entertainment

A Bald Eagle Protecting an American Flag Reminded Me Holocaust Denier JK Rowling Can’t Sue Me

Author JK Rowling is not a fan of transgender people, that much is true....
Criminal Justice

Hillary Clinton Told Me She Has the Free Time to Be a Juror for Trump’s Trials

"...nothing would make me happier than to help make sure Donald Trump got the...
Women's Rights

The State of Arizona Just Sent Me the Pink Slip for My Wife’s Uterus

"...my wife and I weren't planning any excursions through Arizona to begin with. However,...
Criminal Justice

Marjorie Taylor Greene Told Me Her New Theory: Hunter’s Dick Pics Caused New York’s Earthquakes

"...when I was researching Hunter's dick pics again last night, I noticed something I...

© James Schlarmann (All Material is Satirical)