Thoughts and Prayers Stop Next Mass Shooter Just Before He Pulls the Trigger

COUSINLOVER, ALABAMA -- Some are calling it a "miracle." Others are calling it a once-in-a-lifetime occurrence. However one chooses to describe it, however, the fact remains that a mass shooting event in Alabama was...

Thoughts and Prayers Stop Next Mass Shooter Just Before He Pulls the Trigger

COUSINLOVER, ALABAMA -- Some are calling it a "miracle." Others are calling it a once-in-a-lifetime occurrence. However one chooses to describe it, however, the...

Babylon Bee Publishes The N-Word “Satirically”

Fans of comedy and satire might not recognize anything that the website publishes as being remotely related to them, but that has not, as...

Gaetz: “Every Fetus Deserves a Fighting Chance to Become My Sex Object In 17 Years”

While the scandal surrounding him may not be showing any signs of subsiding just yet, Congressman Matt Gaetz (Q-FL) has shown no signs of...

Doctors Break the News to Stephen Miller: He’ll Always Look Like a Penis

It's news none of us want to get. According to published medical journals, however, it's ness that one in every seven billion people suffer...
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MAGAmerica

Super Pro-American MAGA Patriot Rooting for Murderous Dictator to Beat Biden In Debate

He really loves the United States but really wants the American president to lose in a debate with the Russian president/chief murderer.

Trump Supporter Prepared to Worry About Deficit, Debts, Corrupt Presidents Again

COLD CAVE HILLS, TENNESSEE -- If Donald Trump loses his reelection bid, right-wing podcaster and YouTube star Jethro Bohiggins says he's "bigly prepared to...

Trump Tweets ‘Hilarious’ Babylon Bee Article That Uses The N-Word 735 Times “Satirically”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- At the time of publication, the White House has indicated President Donald Trump now understands that the Christotaliban publication The Babylon...

Trump Also Nominated for Nobel Piece of Shit Prize

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- This morning, President Donald Trump awoke to some good news for a change. The COVID-19 pandemic is still raging throughout the...
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Tech

Tic Tac Cock Puts Off Banning App TikTok

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- A man with a reportedly very small penis has decided that he will not pursue banning social media app TikTok for...

Whiny Cunt Won’t Stop Complaining About Social Media on Social Media

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- He doesn't have to tweet. There is no clause in the United States Constitution that requires any social media company, much...

Twitter to Start Putting “Emotionally Fragile Idiot” Label on Trump Tweets

SWILLY CORN VALLEY, CALIFORNIA -- Yesterday, for the first time ever, Twitter applied real-time fact checks to tweets created and sent by the most...

Zuckerberg Explains Why Facebook Calls “White Tr*sh” and “Sister F**ker” Hate Speech, But Hate Speech Is Not Called Hate Speech

SWILLY CORN VALLEY, CALIFORNIA -- Today, Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg told a group of investors on a conference call that his platform will continue...

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Thoughts and Prayers Stop Next Mass Shooter Just Before He Pulls the Trigger

COUSINLOVER, ALABAMA -- Some are calling it a "miracle." Others are calling it a once-in-a-lifetime occurrence. However one chooses to describe it, however, the...

Babylon Bee Publishes The N-Word “Satirically”

Fans of comedy and satire might not recognize anything that the website publishes as being remotely related to them, but that has not, as...

Gaetz: “Every Fetus Deserves a Fighting Chance to Become My Sex Object In 17 Years”

While the scandal surrounding him may not be showing any signs of subsiding just yet, Congressman Matt Gaetz (Q-FL) has shown no signs of...

Doctors Break the News to Stephen Miller: He’ll Always Look Like a Penis

It's news none of us want to get. According to published medical journals, however, it's ness that one in every seven billion people suffer...

MAGA Fan Will Boycott Coke and Drink Trump’s Piss Instead

FUCKWIT FALLS, NEW JERSEY -- Will Ricciarlumbo will never, ever put his lips to a bottle of Coke again, if he can at all...

He Hates Cancel Culture So He’s Boycotting Coke, MLB, Delta, and the 14th Amendment

SHITLIP, NEW JERSEY -- 27 year old Marcus Palumbo absolutely, positively hates "cancel culture." He can't define it with any kind of real precision,...

Al Franken Offers to Fill-In for Gaetz While He Figures Out That Whole Sex Trafficking Thing

MINNESOTA -- Former Senator Al Franken is reportedly open to taking over embattled Florida Republican Matt Gaetz' congressional seat until his impending legal troubles...

Pat Robertson: God Wants Republicans to ‘Crotch Check’ Student Athletes

The 80+ year old televangelist said Jesus told him personally he needs to protect the "integrity" of sports by feeling up student athletes before their games.

MyPillow Guy and Marjorie Taylor Greene Share a Crack Dealer and Loyalty to Trump

On a recent episode of Steve Bannon's klan rally/podcast, Mike Lindell, founder and CEO of MyPillow, promised the MAGA faithful that their messiah would...

To ‘Secure Elections,’ Mississippi Republicans Want to Outlaw the 13th and 14th Amendments

JACKSON, MISSISSIPPI -- Two states to the east, in Georgia, Republicans have passed a sweeping spate of voter restrictions, all in attempt to reverse...

Super Pro-American MAGA Patriot Rooting for Murderous Dictator to Beat Biden In Debate

He really loves the United States but really wants the American president to lose in a debate with the Russian president/chief murderer.

Robert T. Antifa is Tired of Liberals Calling His Very Real Organization ‘Just an Idea’

"I don't see Unicorn Farts or Loch Ness Monster Holdings, or the Catholic Church being treated with such disdain and fear."

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