Jim Jordan Shares Freedom Fries With the Dixie Chicks While Blasting ‘Cancel Culture’

On a park bench not far from the nation's capitol complex, Qongressman Jim Jordan sits with country band The Dixie Chicks, sharing a large order of freedom fries from a nearby McDonald's. As Jordan...

Jim Jordan Shares Freedom Fries With the Dixie Chicks While Blasting ‘Cancel Culture’

On a park bench not far from the nation's capitol complex, Qongressman Jim Jordan sits with country band The Dixie Chicks, sharing a large...

Marjorie Taylor Greene Files Bill Legalizing Insurrections

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene (Q-GA) filed articles of impeachment against President Joe Biden on the very first day on the job....

Lying Sack of Shit Hired By Network Full of Lying Sacks of Shit

Sacks of shit sure do tend to sack together.

Matt Gaetz Tells CPAC He Won’t Let Trump ‘Pull Out Until He Finishes’

A visibly evident and olfactorily confirmed drunk Rep. Matt Gaetz (Q-FL) slurred and stammered his way through a long-winded speech today during the 2021...
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MAGAmerica

Trump Supporter Prepared to Worry About Deficit, Debts, Corrupt Presidents Again

COLD CAVE HILLS, TENNESSEE -- If Donald Trump loses his reelection bid, right-wing podcaster and YouTube star Jethro Bohiggins says he's "bigly prepared to...

Trump Tweets ‘Hilarious’ Babylon Bee Article That Uses The N-Word 735 Times “Satirically”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- At the time of publication, the White House has indicated President Donald Trump now understands that the Christotaliban publication The Babylon...

Trump Also Nominated for Nobel Piece of Shit Prize

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- This morning, President Donald Trump awoke to some good news for a change. The COVID-19 pandemic is still raging throughout the...

Paramount Alleges Trademark Infringement Against Space Force

HOLLYWOO, CALIFORNIA -- Paramount Studios has filed a lawsuit against the Space Force, alleging that their logo is a "blatant and comically obvious, lazy...
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Tech

Tic Tac Cock Puts Off Banning App TikTok

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- A man with a reportedly very small penis has decided that he will not pursue banning social media app TikTok for...

Whiny Cunt Won’t Stop Complaining About Social Media on Social Media

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- He doesn't have to tweet. There is no clause in the United States Constitution that requires any social media company, much...

Twitter to Start Putting “Emotionally Fragile Idiot” Label on Trump Tweets

SWILLY CORN VALLEY, CALIFORNIA -- Yesterday, for the first time ever, Twitter applied real-time fact checks to tweets created and sent by the most...

Zuckerberg Explains Why Facebook Calls “White Tr*sh” and “Sister F**ker” Hate Speech, But Hate Speech Is Not Called Hate Speech

SWILLY CORN VALLEY, CALIFORNIA -- Today, Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg told a group of investors on a conference call that his platform will continue...

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Jim Jordan Shares Freedom Fries With the Dixie Chicks While Blasting ‘Cancel Culture’

On a park bench not far from the nation's capitol complex, Qongressman Jim Jordan sits with country band The Dixie Chicks, sharing a large...

Marjorie Taylor Greene Files Bill Legalizing Insurrections

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene (Q-GA) filed articles of impeachment against President Joe Biden on the very first day on the job....

Matt Gaetz Tells CPAC He Won’t Let Trump ‘Pull Out Until He Finishes’

A visibly evident and olfactorily confirmed drunk Rep. Matt Gaetz (Q-FL) slurred and stammered his way through a long-winded speech today during the 2021...

Update: Stephen Miller is Still a Bald, Racist Cunt

When one thinks back on the four year diarrhea buffet that was the Trump administration, it's hard not to, at some point, think about...

Marjorie Taylor Greene Requests Medical Crack Exception From House Leadership

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Congresswoman Marjorie Taylor Greene has a lot of time on her hands, now that she's been completely stripped of her committee...

Surgeon General Recommends Shitting on Ted Cruz Twice Daily

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The acting Surgeon General of the United States has issued a new set of guidelines for the continued health and well-being...

United Airlines Ending Its Frequent Fuckface Miles Program

United Airlines has announced that after careful consideration of the events of the past 48 hours they will be ending their Frequent Fuckface Miles...

Pat Robertson: God Will Warm Texas If He Stops Watching “Magic Mike” for Research Purposes Twelve Times a Week

VIRGINIA BEACH, VIRGINIA -- Living fossil and televangelist Pat Robertson often speaks to God about what's going in the United States. In particular, Robertson...

Satan Tells Limbaugh to ‘Fuck Off Out Of Here’

HELL -- Satan "Billy" Beelzebub does not want recently deceased radio host Rush Limbaugh "anywhere within 500 eternal yards" of Hell, and he made...

Jim Jordan Blames Cancel Culture for His Miniscule Dick

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Congressman Jim Jordan has a very, very, very, very small dick. Jordan's dick is so small that Former President Donald Trump's dick...

Senate Republicans Wish Every American a Happy Sucking-Off Insurrectionist Former Presidents Day!

Today, kids all across America are off from school, banks are closed, and the mail isn't running because it's a federal holiday. Today is...

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