God: “I Have No Fucking Clue Who This Mango Craycray Greene Is”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Today, House Democrats passed a bill that, if signed into law, would codify the right to an abortion, ahead of the Supreme Court hearing arguments in a case that could gut...

God: “I Have No Fucking Clue Who This Mango Craycray Greene Is”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Today, House Democrats passed a bill that, if signed into law, would codify the right to an abortion, ahead of the...

Flynn: “Q Told Me Biden is Putting COVID Vaccines in Busch Beer and Marlboro Reds”

Disgraced former General Mike Flynn is pretty sure that the Biden administration is sneaking COVID-19 vaccines into the bodies of unsuspecting members of MAGA...

Trump Warns Boebert He’ll Never Be President Again if Potential Rape Victims Are Armed

FARTS-A LOT-GO, FLORIDUH -- Former one-term, twice forever impeached President Donald J. Trump issued a direct statement to one of his most loyal and...

Local Fuckface Still Crying and Lying About Losing

FARTS-A LOT-GO, FLORIDUH -- Residents of America's Dong State are probably used to hosting all sorts of con men, liars, racists, and general fuckfaces....
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MAGAmerica

Early Data Shows Justice for J6 Rally Drew Crowd With More Teeth Than IQ Points

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- On Saturday, organizers held the "Justice for J6" rally in the nation's capitol where just eight months prior an angry, pro-MAGA...

Local Moron Sees Inconvenience as Tyranny

LAKE SKIPPY, TENNESSEE -- Jack "Dipshit" McPhuckphace is known throughout his sleepy town as a moron. In fact, McPhuckphace is such a moron he's...

Unvaccinated America First Patriot Refuses to Wear a Mask or Condom While Raw-Dogging His Cousin

COLD CAVE HILLS, TENNESSEE -- In an interview soon to be published in American ConservaFascist Today, Jethro Bohiggins -- right-wing podcaster, singer/writer -- says...

Patriotic American Rooting For Socialist Countries to Beat U.S. Women’s Soccer Team

WHISTLING DICK LAKE, FLORIDA -- 34-year-old Marcus Palumbo is a self-described "über patriot," and often tells his friends he "bleeds red, white, and blue."...
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Religion

Tech

Twitter Temporarily Suspends Horse Faced Anti-Vaxxer’s Account

SWILLY CORN VALLEY, CALIFORNIA -- Horse faced cave troll and freshman Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene (Q-GA) won't be tweeting at all for the next...

Whiny Snowflake Troll Suing Twitter and Facebook for Having Rules He Refused to Follow

DIPPSHITT, NEW JERSEY -- In front of a small group of his friends, a whiny snowflake and former, one-term, twice-permanently impeached president announced that...

Wow! Twitter Hasn’t Banned a President of the United States in Over Five Months!

Holy smokes! It's hard to believe, so you better be seated before you read this epic news that just broke from California's Swilly Corn...

Tic Tac Cock Puts Off Banning App TikTok

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- A man with a reportedly very small penis has decided that he will not pursue banning social media app TikTok for...

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