I Just Got a Sneak Peak at Marjorie Taylor Greene’s Signature Shoe Line

"I lied to him and told him that I was a friend of the Sasquatch lawyer that Kari Lake hired to try and get...

Why Aren’t Liberals Grateful to Live in the World’s Most Exceptional Shooting Range?

The following editorial was written by right-wing commentator and former NRA executive board member Dustin Pewpsin. The dystopian thoughts and sociopathic opinions expressed herein are those of Mr. Pewpsin, his fellow overly-compensating gun nut golf buddies, and a few million psychopaths; not necessarily those...

What DO You Get The Horse-Faced Cave Troll Insurrectionist In Your Life for Valentine’s Day?

"...a lovely new feedbag might be the way to go. But she just signed...

Tucker’s Putin Interview Was the Most Boring BJ Video I’ve Ever Seen on the Internet

"...in the interest of fairness, and admittedly settling a sense of curiosity I had...

If I Can’t Vote for a Monarch With Immunity, I Don’t Have Freedom, Do I?

The following editorial was written by right-wing commentator and author Dustin Pewpsin. The views...

Tallahassee Pill Sees His Shadow and Will Have Four More Years of Not Being President

"He could still be president of his local chapter of the Proud Boys, or...

To Save Trump’s Business Empire, It’s Time to Hand Control to Taylor Swift

Clearly, nobody currently on Team Trump has any idea how to run a business...

I Finally Saw Hunter Biden’s Dick. The Bad News for Republicans? It Didn’t Make Me a Fascist.

Midge was so intent on making sure that every American saw Hunter's cock that...

Our Whole Office Chipped-In and Got Ron DeSantis a Disney World Annual Pass to Cheer Him Up

When he rides "Pirates of the Caribbean," he may be off-put by seeing men with long hair who talk funny, and it might make...

Why Didn’t Anyone Tell Me I Had Fucking Presidential Immunity?!

The following editorial was written and submitted by former President and alive human, Richard...

Call Me Old Fashioned, But Women Shouldn’t Be Dancing at Football Games

The following editorial was written by right-wing commentator Dustin Pewpsin. The views and opinions...

Call Me Old Fashioned, But Women Shouldn’t Be Dancing at Football Games

The following editorial was written by right-wing commentator Dustin Pewpsin. The views and opinions...

Entertainment

To Save Trump’s Business Empire, It’s Time to Hand Control to Taylor Swift

Clearly, nobody currently on Team Trump has any idea how to run a business...

George Santos Talked to Us About His Inspiration Behind Steamboat Willie

"...when you're someone like me -- and granted there are so very few who...

First It’s Green Day. Who’s Next – Rage Against the Machine?!

The following editorial was written by Chad Beefington, a right-wing commentator. The views and...

Disney Exec: Company Has Years of Meaningful Experience Dealing With Grumpy Dwarfs

During an investor conference call last week, Disney executives were confident that their company...

New Tennessee Law Requires All Transformers Toys to Only Have Car Mode

If you're a parent living in Tennessee and buying your child a Transformer for...

Disney Exec: Company Has Years of Meaningful Experience Dealing With Grumpy Dwarfs

During an investor conference call last week, Disney executives were confident that their company...

New Tennessee Law Requires All Transformers Toys to Only Have Car Mode

If you're a parent living in Tennessee and buying your child a Transformer for...

Boebert Proposes Lowering the Debt Basement Instead of Raising the Debt Ceiling

"Representative Boebert had an epiphany -- there's more than just a ceiling in a...

Cruz Withholding 2024 Endorsement Until He Hears Every Candidate’s Stance on His Ugly Wife

Though the next presidential election is still over a year away, the machinations involved...

Russian State Media Hires New Ukraine War Correspondent

Today, the Kremlin announced that Russia's state media has hired a new Ukraine War...

Why Is Stephen Miller’s Mother’s Vagina Replacing Tucker Carlson at Fox News?

"We just figured one racist cunt could replace another and our audience would be...

Twitter Makes It Easier to Identify Verified Suckers and Fascists

Since taking over as Twitter's owner and Chief Executive Officer, billionaire hair plug recipient...

Surprised Doctors Pronounce Lauren Boebert Not Brain Dead

A visibly surprised team of doctors at Colorado State Hospital made an announcement this...

Alabama GOP Wants Separate Drinking Fountains for Transgender People

This morning, on a party line vote, an Alabama state legislative committee approved a...

MAGA

As Soon as Ron or Nikki Insults Heidi Cruz, I’ll Know Who I’m Voting For

The following editorial was written by Dustin Pewpsin, a right-wing commentator, current Fox News employee, and former Dan Bongino fact-checker. The opinions and viewpoints expressed herein are those of Mr. Pewpsin, and not necessarily those of this outlet, it's ownership, or staff. "...for the last...

Trump Tells Ivanka He’s Going to Pinch Her No Matter How Much Green She’s Wearing

Today is St. Patrick's Day, and nobody knows that better than former, one term,...

In 2024, Republicans Will Choose Between Trump, DeSantis, or Another Form of Cancer

Believe it or not, Americans are only about 20 short months away from choosing...

World’s Richest Alt-Right Twitter Troll Calls for QAnon Shaman’s Release

Elon Musk, the world's richest alt-right Twitter troll, used his account on that social...

DeSantis Demands Disney World Close ‘It’s a Small World’ Because It Promotes Woke Globalism

"...the only black automatons we tolerate are Candice Owens and Ben Carson." - Gov....

Business/Economy

I Live in Arkansas. Can My 10 Year Old Work as a Bouncer at a Drag Bar?

I moved to Arkansas before I was a father, so I can't say that I'd even be thinking about this topic ten years ago,...

3 Important Reasons Bank Execs Need Bailouts But You Don’t Need Welfare

Dustin Pewpsin is a self-described "conservative AF amateur economist and professional politics watcher." He...

Economic Models Project Which Red States Become Third World Countries After National Divorce

Horse faced cave troll and Congresswoman Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene (Q-GA) shocked many outside...

Disney World Offering Free Bud Light to Every Transgender Guest This Summer

Transgender guests of Walt Disney World can receive a rather special perk this summer, according to sources within the company. In leaked records provided to us, it appears that Disney executives are about to green light a special promotion that would give free Bud...

DeSantis Bans Minecraft Because ‘Kids Can Get Hoes’ In It

Gov. Ron DeSantis of Florida has used much of his second term in office to publicly wage a series of cultural wars. DeSantis has...

Sports

Call Me Old Fashioned, But Women Shouldn’t Be Dancing at Football Games

The following editorial was written by right-wing commentator Dustin Pewpsin. The views and opinions...

Jesus Christ Wonders How Many Poor People You Can Feed for Two Super Bowl Ads

Today, Jesus Hubert Christ held his weekly heavenly press conference. One reporter asked the...

Kari Lake Tells Newsmax She Can Prove The Eagles Actually Won Super Bowl LVII

In an interview this morning, certified election loser and Not Arizona's Governor Kari Lake...

Matt Gaetz to Personally Collect Florida’s Student Athlete Menstrual Data

The State of Florida is set to begin collecting menstrual data from its high...

DeSantis Bans Talking About Super Bowl LVI Halftime Show in the Classroom

TALAHASSEE, FLORIDUH -- Teachers in America's Dong State are forbidden from discussing the halftime show presented at Super Bowl LVI this past weekend, according to a new order signed by Gov. Ron DeSantis (Q). On Sunday, legends of hip hop took to the stage during...

Science & Medicine