Whoops! There Goes An Issa Scandal, Kerplop!

I am only very slightly pretentious. I only require my family to lay down rose petals at my feet on alternating Wednesday, and I only passively slip in a reference to the fact that I’m a writer (note the italics for emphasis) every so often. If you don’t mind though, I’d like to be a little bit pretentious and quote myself. This is from a piece I published last week called, “Darrell Issa — The Scumbag High Inquisitor of the Republican Party.”

“We all have to make a solemn oath — call it a pact if you will — that when this latest witch hunt-dog and pony-anything but legislating-shit show blows up in Rep. Darrell Issa’s face and it’s proven once again that he doesn’t have any evidence to support any of his bullshit theories…no one listens to him ever after.”

Well, the time has come ladies and gents to officially ignore Darrell Issa. Of course, that doesn’t mean we’ll actually get to ignore the greasy alleged car thief. He’s too damned loudmouthed and heads-up way too prominent a House Committee for us to be able to actually ignore the bastard, so maybe just well-timed laugh in his face is best? Time and again Issa has wound up with egg on his face. Of course, you won’t find me shedding a single tear for the man who took control of the Oversight Committee and didn’t even get the seat warm before he started blasting the “corrupt” Obama administration — swearing to hold hundreds of hearings if he needed to in order to expose “the truth.” He was nakedly political from the outset, and that’s why no one pays attention to him. That’s why “Fast & Furious” turned into “Bush Started & Who Gives a Fuck?” It’s why Benghazi turned into “Why Did You Cut Embassy Security Funding?” And it’s why now we’re getting to see the IRS Tea Party targeting scandal immolate before our very eyes.

Issa’s arch nemesis on the oversight committee is Democrat Elijah Cummings from Maryland. Cummings has all along known that Issa has been cherry picking pieces of the congressional investigation and interviews to paint a much different narrative in the media than the actual, full transcripts do. He’s repeatedly demanded that Issa release the full transcripts, and every time Issa rebuffed him, claiming some bullshit excuse about not “damaging the ongoing investigation.” Well, Cummings got fed up with Issa’s games, gave him an ultimatum, which he then extended to this past Monday, which again passed. This time though, Cummings made good on this threat.

The transcripts release was an utter bombshell in the “scandal,” completely destroying the story line that Issa was pushing — one that he insists must go all the way to the top. The problem is that the interview released was with John Shafer, a self-described conservative Republican, who says he and one other staffer were the ones who originally flagged the first Tea Party case for extra scrutiny. He also said that they continued to scrutinize Tea Party groups for consistency’s sake.

Whoops! Looks like Issa’s latest scandal investigation just went up in smoke…again.

Shafer was asked point-blank whether he had any contact with either the then head of the IRS, the White House, or anyone else high-up the food chain in D.C. and every single time Shafer said he had not. You can hear the wheels falling off Issa’s IRS wagon right now if you listen closely enough. The question really now becomes how do the larger media outlets handle this development. At first they jumped all over the fact that some Republican somewhere doctored emails from the White House on Benghazi, and then all of a sudden that story was shot into the ether of public discourse. It would seem that when you combine the knowledge of doctored emails on one scandal with the confirmation of cherry picking and outright lying to the American people about this IRS scandals’ ties to the White House, you have grounds for at the very least a very public tongue lashing from Republican leadership on the floor of the House.

I won’t hold my fucking breath. 

I’ve come to the conclusion that of all the Republicans in the House, Darrell Issa is the first that just has to go. He’s the mouthpiece for the Tea Party’s incessant witch hunts against a president who has done himself no favors in his reaction to certain “scandals,” but who has clearly done nothing to warrant this kind of non-stop, sycophantic crusading that Issa’s been doing. He has abused his power and he was wasted taxpayer money time and again on these pointless exercises of political theater. He’s lied or perhaps “misled” the American people over and over, and every single fucking time he’s found to be completely and totally wrong.

How many pointless investigations are the people supposed to put up with? I have to stop myself here because the reality of the situation is that Issa represents my district, and my district is about as red as they come. So the chances of Issa being tossed out aren’t all that great, unless of course he manages to keep his foot down on the gas, ignores the flashing red light, and careens his committee right over the cliff into Impeach Town. Honestly, this may sound truly horrifying, but nothing would make me more delighted than Issa mounting an effort to impeach the president. It in fact may be the cleanest and easiest way for the voters in his district to see that there might be some better Republican alternatives than a multimillionaire with a rap sheet and a bad reputation.

All I know is that not very many jobs in America let you screw up monumentally three times without being fired. Issa has been a pock mark on the ass of our nation’s legislative history. His total contribution will be summed by historians one day as “a less believable Joe McCarthy.” If that’s true, then there is actually quite a bit of light at the end of the tunnel. McCarthy, just like Nixon eventually lost favor with the American people when the mountain of evidence was presented that he was nothing but a bully in a suit, using his political power to waste taxpayer money on idiotic ideological crusades.

Sounds pretty familiar, doesn’t it?




About James Schlarmann 2612 Articles
James is the founding contributor and editor-in-chief of The Political Garbage Chute, a political satire and commentary site, which can be found on Facebook as well. You definitely should not give that much a shit about his opinions.
  • Darrel Issa is the ultimate buffoon , the only thing he is capable of is to hype any story and ,without a scintilla of evidence pointing finger at the White House . I live in California and hope that next year voters put a end to his madness .Time to take out the trash !

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