Ghost of Vince Foster Pays Foreboding Visit to Julian Assange

Julian Assange gets an unexpected visitor.

The spirit of a Hillary Clinton colleague who allegedly killed himself appeared to the founder of WikiLeaks and admonished him for leaking Democratic National Committee emails that could harm Clinton’s presidential campaign.

The ghost of Vince Foster — who was a partner at the Rose Law Firm in Arkansas with Clinton, and whom some believe Clinton had killed — manifested itself before Julian Assange in the middle of the night and strongly advised him against taking any further action that might harm the ambitions of the Democratic presidential nominee.

“Julian Assange. Julian Assange! Why dost thou screw with the Hilldog?” Foster’s specter droned to Assange in his bedroom in the Ecuadorian Embassy in London, where the WikiLeaks publisher has been living in asylum since 2012. “Cease your release of DNC emails, unless thou desirest to end up like me.”

The apparition also warned Assange against assuming that the embassy’s protection allows him to release thousands of embarrassing and damaging hacked emails with impunity.

“Do not be a fool and believe Killary cannot reach you within these walls,” moaned the poltergeist of the former deputy White House counsel whose 1993 suicide is believed by many conspiracy theorists to have been staged. “Trust no one! The next meal you eat, the next walk you take, the next rape you commit could be your last, Julian Assange.”

An unfazed Assange then crawled back into bed and snorted another line of cocaine off the naked ass of an underage girl smuggled into the embassy for his pleasure.

Republished from The Red Shtick.

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