Trump Wants His Bone Spurs Added To Vietnam War Memorial

"If we can't add them to the memorial, can I give them a presidential medal of freedom or some shit?"

AIR FORCE ONE — High above the Pacific Ocean, on his way back to Washington, D.C., President Donald J. Trump pulled aside White House Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders and had her take down some dictation.

“Sarah, I want to a small addition to the Vietnam War memorial. Visiting Vietnam has made me realize how important that war was not just to America, but to me in particular,” Trump told his press secretary.

President Trump had spent the last week and a half abroad, visiting Asia in the most extensive trip of his presidency to date. Trump visited the Korean peninsula, China, Vietnam, and the Philippines. Mr. Trump would be overheard telling aides he was saddened to not meet the presidents of Puerto Rick or the U.S. Virgin Islands on this trip, but overall he was quite satisfied with it.

“This has been a really yooge, tremendously bigly trip for all of us, I think. I want to commemorate that in a special way,” Trump told Huckabee. “And it’s gotten me to thinking. There are some people in my life that I really think deserve an honor that has been denied to them for so long.”

Trump told Huckabee that when they landed, he wanted to head immediately to the Oval Office and draft a letter to Congress and whoever curates the names that end up on the Vietnam War memorial in the nation’s capital.

“I want to honor two very big heroes of mine. Heroes for a very personal reason,” Trump said, adding, “and it’s high time my bone spurs receive the distinction and recognition they richly deserve.”

Huckabee didn’t seem able to believe her ears. She asked Trump to reiterate what he wanted. He told her, again, that he wanted to have his bone spurs added to the list of names of U.S. armed forces service members who died in the Vietnam War on its memorial in Washington, D.C. She reminded the president that the wall was meant to honor those who had made the “biggest sacrifice possible.” Trump said he understood.

“Well, without my bone spurs cropping up at just the right time,” Trump mused, “I might have had to go serve in that war. So if you ask me, they absolutely displayed heroism and bravery. If we can’t add them to the memorial, can I give them a presidential medal of freedom or some shit?”

Huckabee Sanders said she’d “look into it.”

This story is developing.


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