Published on May 20th, 2011 | by James Schlarmann0
I’ve decided to make a pledge to my children. They’re both still very young. David is not quite five, and Parker is not even three months old. But I pledge here and now, to them both that I will only ever support them no matter what gender it is they happen to fall in love with. I’m their father, and it’s my job to do so. Acceptance of your children is the first and best way to show them how much you love them.
If more parents would just tell their kids that they will love them no matter who it is they fall in love with, I think so much pain and hurt could be avoided. Just like no one has the right to keep their kids from falling in love with someone whose skin is a different color, so should it be for their gender.
My hope is that in making this pledge I can keep my kids from ever feeling wrong or gross for finding love in whomever they do. If they end up being straight as an arrow, that’s fine too of course. That’s actually my point. I don’t care at all who they fall in love with; as long as that person is good to my sons and treats them with respect.
I hope that if my kids understand they’ll be loved no matter who it is they love that in turn will let them love their partners fully and completely. It’s no one’s place to rob another human being of Love, certainly not a parent. This pledge is for my kids to know that their father will never forsake them in matters of Love.
I grew up in the 90s in a very small town in the mountains. To say there were less than progressive attitudes towards homosexuality would be an understatement of the highest degree. I’m thankful though that I left that ivory tower and was exposed immediately to a much, much larger world.
I never had much more than a passing concern for the gay lifestyle, especially once I threw off the yolk of religion my parents had thrown over my shoulders. I’d never have participated in any of the truly disgusting treatment a kid who was brave enough to come out in my High School would have endured, but I don’t know, honestly if I’d have had the ability to stop it either. It just never registered to my adolescent, small-town brain that there were likely gay kids in my school, living a secret life of anguish, unable to be themselves.