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Funny Business Author Ann Coulter speaks during an addr

Published on May 27th, 2013 | by James Schlarmann

15

That Fuckin’ Asshole Ann Coulter Said What Now?

I can always tell when three months have gone by because that’s when Ann Coulter says something horrifically vile about Latinos. I think it’s safe to say Ann Coulter is a bit of a racist. And by “bit” I mean she “has a huge fucking problem with brown-skinned people.”

Her latest racist screed op-ed –“When Did We Vote To Become Mexico?” — gives us the  toxic pabulum that is Coulter’s strong point, except she took it to the next level by also claiming all the recent scandals in Washington are really a big smokescreen for the push to get the Gang of Eight’s immigration bill passed. You know, I’m a writer, albeit not one with nearly the following that Ms. Coulter enjoys, but I often wonder what gives assholes like her and Alex Jones the balls to just make shit up and pass it off as fact. I mean seriously, by all rights as a “blogger” shouldn’t I be the one making up outlandish theories about how the government is fucking us over?

You know why I can’t and don’t? Because I have this little voice inside me that tells me making up stuff just so I can sell more ad space, get more web traffic or “hit the big time” isn’t worth the lives I could ruin by spreading my idiocies. We call that little voice in our heads a conscience, and clearly Coulter is lacking it. Sadly for us, what she lacks in conscience she triples in hubris and quadruples in volume. Watching any appearances of hers on Real Time with Bill Maher is like watching Fran Drescher argue with a band saw while they both try to be heard over a wailing banshee. You can easily be deafened by her tone deaf rants against Mexicans.

As best I can tell, Coulter must have been scorned by a Latino lover in the past. That’s the only reason I can possibly fathom for why a 52-year-old woman would spew such foul and unfounded vitriol as Coulter does about Hispanic people on a consistent and regular basis. She’s said recently that immigrants don’t deserve federal benefits. She’s said that immigrants are why things like the Boston Bombing happen. There is no ideological difference between Ann Coulter and a racist southerner in the 1930s who swore that God just meant for the blacks to be lower than the whites on the socioeconomic ladder.

So why do I write about this seething viper of a woman? Some have said to me in the past things like “She only has power because people talk about her,” or, “If you’d stop writing about her no one would know what she says.” That’s a very cute way to get out of having to confront the ugliness of someone’s rhetoric, but burying our collective heads in the sand won’t do shit to actually fix the problem. In case you’re wondering, the problem is Ann Coulter. She will continue to say the outlandish shit she does with or without media attention, because that’s how she knows how to get media attention. Do you really think for two seconds if people stopped writing and talking about her that she’d stop saying such horrible things about non-white people?

Of course she wouldn’t. She would keep right on spouting it. No, the only way to beat someone like Coulter is to immolate her every single time she crosses the line. You need to build a very public record of every racist bleating, every ignorant claim of some study or another that proves beyond a shadow of a doubt that Mexicans are lazy and terrible people. People have a short attention span, and if you don’t continually remind them every time she opens her mouth up that what she’s saying is just pure cognitive bile, intellectual smegma intended to be consumed by all, but agreed to by only the absolute worst members of society.

There’s this trait within liberals to want to be non-judgmental. It makes sense though. After all, the other side of the aisle are the ones who are totally okay with racial profiling (just don’t profile a group based on their ideologies about taxation, that’s over the line). The other side are the ones telling people gay marriages and adoptions will rend the very moral fabric with which the Quilt of American Greatness was sewn into tiny scraps of rainbow colored confetti. They are the judgmental ones, and we want and need to be the opened minded ones.

Some members of society deserve adjudication. Some members of society are asking to be castigated. Some members of society serve no other purpose but to poison the well of shared human experience we all drink from in our short times on this planet. Those people should be made fun of. Those people should have an example made out of them. Those people should be rode out of town on a rail as a deterrent to anyone else who feels the need to exercise their First Amendment rights to punish and hurt others simply for speaking a different language and having brown skin.

I understand the outright irony of someone who exercises their First Amendment rights to say all manner of things about people he disagrees with telling someone else they can’t say what they want to say. Let me be very clear, that festering and weeping wound can bleed whatever ignorant claptrap she wants all over the political spectrum. I’d never try to take away her rights to expose herself as the worthless parasite of political discourse that she is; I just long for the day when society at large will actually do what so many claim we need to do for her to lose all her power — turn their backs on her. But we can’t get there unless everyone is convinced she’s not worth talking or listening to, and that means exposing all her inanity for the world to see.

Every. Single. Time.

 

 

 

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About the Author

James is the founding contributor and editor-in-chief of The Political Garbage Chute, a left-leaning satire and commentary site, which can be found on Facebook as well. You definitely should not give that much a shit about his opinions.



  • bart

    I have no problem with what Anne has said. She never said that she did not want immigrants to come here. She said she did not want immigrants to come here and receive benefits. These benefits are referring to free medical care, welfare plans and so forth. It is interesting how you libs, not all, use profanity to put her down and totally misconstrue what she says. This country cannot afford our own lazy people who do not want to work and want to stay on welfare let alone add on immigrants. James is obviously not a professional, look at the profanity he uses as adjectives. Not professional nor worth reading.

    • James Schlarmann

      A. You’re a jingoistic asshole.

      B. You like soapy mistake a “need” to swear with a choice to swear.

      C. Read A again and again and again until it sinks in.

      Makers and takers, right Bart, you twat?

      • http://www.facebook.com/kulera69 Hugo Arce

        Amen!!! lol

    • Zaidi

      Immigrants from South America comes to this country because Americans pay them pennies to do the work Americans are loath to do, even at the cost of above scale living wages! Those Republicans and Tea Baggers who are screaming to build taller fences are the very ones who are employing Jose and Margurita to cut their grasses, clean their toilets and feed their children!!

    • http://www.facebook.com/jllutseck Jessica Lutseck

      There’s something very wrong with people who find the word “fuck” offensive, but have zero problem with sending our kids to drop bombs on brown people.

  • http://tadwilliams.com tad williams

    It’s really not worth arguing with people like that. They have a quasi-religious stake in believing what they believe. Don’t even bother to insult them. They’re not worth the time.

    Yes, Anne Coulter is a festering hole in reality masquerading as a human. That’s all that needs to be said.

  • Zaidi

    She’s the Troll of Hate.

  • http://gravatar.com/jmleahy428 Jim L.

    I’m an LGBT-liberal (sorry to have to qualify myself) who loves Ann Coulter. Do I agree with everything she says – NO! In fact, I disagree with 95% of what she says usually.

    Now here are my issues with the article: You are essentially doing what Ann coulter is doing, yet you claim you aren’t. You’re saying you have a conscience, yet you rip apart this woman. You’re misogynistic in your tone – assuming she’s been scorned by a male Latino lover – which also could border on heteronormative.

    What I enjoy about her is the way she makes people think. Here’s her thinking (if you can try to sort through the bull shit): Why should someone living in Nigeria, or Canada, or the Ukraine, who’s waiting LEGALLY for several years to get status in this country be denied or pushed back because someone else decided to cut the line? What that essentially does is incentive more immigrants to skirt the system and just come here and wait for the next great amnesty bill. IT DOESN’T WORK. It’s not an issue of race (and believe me – I’m sensitive to people of color for sure) it’s an issue of how our economy can survive if 11 – 33 million people come to the country and immediately receive benefits (when so many American-born citizens go without).

    Yes, Ann uses provocation in order to get her message across. In this day and age, the media and politics are the wild wild west. You have to use exaggerated commentary to make a point. Liberals do it. Bill Maher is my absolute favorite and he uses humor in a wildly provocative way in order to make a point.

    Rather than dismissing Ann – I think it’s wise if liberals tease out the real argument and address that.

    • James Schlarmann

      Right. I’m a misogynist for pointing out she’s an asshole. It’s also too bad she’s not as good at making her point as you are at inventing it for her.

      • http://gravatar.com/jmleahy428 Jim L.

        If you don’t think that’s a misogynistic tone to take – saying she was scorned by a Latin lover – that’s on you. I still found your article humorous and entertaining but there are certainly holes I wanted to poke in a few of your arguments. Keep writing – I liked it.

        • James Schlarmann

          It’s not misogynistic. I realize I used the word “Latino,” but if you read any subtext other than “she is I appropriately and hyperbolically angry at people of Hispanic heritage” that’s on you. People who are scorned in love, heterosexual, homosexual and everything else under the sun, tend to wear that scorn on their sleeves.

          None of what I’ve said can be taken as misogyny unless you are looking for misogyny. You can find racism in Coulter’s words without any effort.

    • Everest

      You are totally ignorant, imigrants dont get any government asistance

    • bayhuntr

      Jim L, I think you’ve been mislead. Coulter and the leaders on the right do not give a crap about stopping illegal immigration, they love it. Coulter doesn’t care about the cost to society, she won’t bare the cost, the middle class will. There is a reason Reagan signed amnesty into law and did absolutely nothing to stem and flood; to lower American wages. Coulter play this game to get the fools on the right all wound up so they will go out and ignore what republicans are really doing. You know, vote for the guy who hates those damn illegals and homos, but ignore the fact that he’s redistributing all the wealth of the middle class, or what’s left of it, to the rich along with any hope for a better life of their children. Most of these idiots on the right would stick a 2×4 up their own kids butt’s if they thought they could smack a liberal with it. Convincing them of that is the job of people like Coulter,

  • Juliet

    I work in the trades, and I never saw a lazy Latino. They work hard, and only stop for break, lunch or the end of the work day. Most immigrants work hard, and see the opportunities for advancement that we miss.

    By contrast, when I was hired for my first job, the boss said that he hired a lot of American men who worked one day and then quit. (I knew I would be sweating and doing hard work going in.)

    The actual immigration process has been made so difficult and ridiculous that we shouldn’t be surprised that people sneak in. As for those coming in because a crappy wage in the US is still better than what they get at home? Help make things better at home.

    As for Anne Coulter: she apparently has no idea that the straw 1950s she idealizes would strip her of her own bank accounts and credit cards, and treat her as odd or pitiable for being unmarried at 52. And forget about having control of her own property: she’s just holding it for a male heir or buyer.

  • Tommy McLemore

    Thanks, Ann Coulter’s bigoted ignorance should be exposed every time she opens her mouth. Keep up the good work.

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