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Ted Cruz

You Can’t Call Me an “Incel” If I Fuck My Cybertruck

The following editorial was written and submitted by right-wing author and 2020 Trump Campaign...

A Bald Eagle Protecting an American Flag Reminded Me Holocaust Denier JK Rowling Can’t Sue Me

Author JK Rowling is not a fan of transgender people, that much is true....
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Cruz: Weak Biden Won’t Nominate Functioning Alcoholic Who Can’t Recall Their Attempted Rapes

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- No matter who President Joe Biden selects to replace outgoing Justice...

Ted Cruz Insists He Can Gargle Tucker and Trump’s Fruit Baskets Simultaneously

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Two days ago, Sen. Ted Cruz (Q-Cancun) described the events of...

Op-Ed: Ted Cruz Encouraged Me to Storm the Capitol and Now He’s Calling Me a Violent Terrorist

The following editorial was written by William Bobilly, a 47 year old out of...

Cruz Cautions Harris Against Using Wired Headphones While Wearing a Tan Suit

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Yesterday, Politico dropped what can only be fairly described as the most important,...

Ted Cruz Says He’ll Stand Under the Mistletoe With Trump If Ivanka Won’t

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- During a weekly press conference held by Senate Republicans, Sen. Ted...

Fauci: “Cruz Has the Same Punchablefaceitis That Rand Paul’s Neighbor Diagnosed Him With”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Sen. Ted Cruz and Sen. Rand Paul share something other than...

Biologists Confirm: Ted Cruz is a Sentient Crotch Cyst

In an unforeseen turn of events, sources say that top Republican brass are weighing...

Inspired by Cruz, Next Episode of “Sesame Street” Will Be Brought to You By the Letters “C-U-N-T”

Right from its inception, the educational television show "Sesame Street" has sought to inform...

Big Bird Asks Big Dodo To Show Him How to Get to Cancun

Beloved children's performer Big Bird made national headlines this weekend when he posted a...

8 Things Ted Cruz Has Defended More Rigorously Than His Own Wife

There are few men who are considered braver, or even as brave, as Sen....

Is Your Junk Sounding and/or Looking a Lot Like Ted Cruz? You Might Have This STD.

A tale as old as time -- sexually transmitted diseases. Let's face it, if you...

Cruz Suggests Haitian Refugees at Border Should ‘Check Out Cancun Instead’

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- A recent surge in Haitian refugees on the U.S. border with...

Latest articles

You Can’t Call Me an “Incel” If I Fuck My Cybertruck

The following editorial was written and submitted by right-wing author and 2020 Trump Campaign...

A Bald Eagle Protecting an American Flag Reminded Me Holocaust Denier JK Rowling Can’t Sue Me

Author JK Rowling is not a fan of transgender people, that much is true....

Hillary Clinton Told Me She Has the Free Time to Be a Juror for Trump’s Trials

"...nothing would make me happier than to help make sure Donald Trump got the...

The State of Arizona Just Sent Me the Pink Slip for My Wife’s Uterus

"...my wife and I weren't planning any excursions through Arizona to begin with. However,...