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Ted Cruz
Ted Cruz
Tech
You Can’t Call Me an “Incel” If I Fuck My Cybertruck
The following editorial was written and submitted by right-wing author and 2020 Trump Campaign...
April 24, 2024
Arts & Entertainment
A Bald Eagle Protecting an American Flag Reminded Me Holocaust Denier JK Rowling Can’t Sue Me
Author JK Rowling is not a fan of transgender people, that much is true....
April 19, 2024
MAGA News
Cruz: Weak Biden Won’t Nominate Functioning Alcoholic Who Can’t Recall Their Attempted Rapes
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- No matter who President Joe Biden selects to replace outgoing Justice...
January 28, 2022
Conservative Media
Ted Cruz Insists He Can Gargle Tucker and Trump’s Fruit Baskets Simultaneously
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Two days ago, Sen. Ted Cruz (Q-Cancun) described the events of...
January 7, 2022
Criminal Justice
Op-Ed: Ted Cruz Encouraged Me to Storm the Capitol and Now He’s Calling Me a Violent Terrorist
The following editorial was written by William Bobilly, a 47 year old out of...
January 6, 2022
U.S. Politics
Cruz Cautions Harris Against Using Wired Headphones While Wearing a Tan Suit
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Yesterday, Politico dropped what can only be fairly described as the most important,...
December 7, 2021
MAGA News
Ted Cruz Says He’ll Stand Under the Mistletoe With Trump If Ivanka Won’t
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- During a weekly press conference held by Senate Republicans, Sen. Ted...
November 30, 2021
Science & Medicine
Fauci: “Cruz Has the Same Punchablefaceitis That Rand Paul’s Neighbor Diagnosed Him With”
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Sen. Ted Cruz and Sen. Rand Paul share something other than...
November 29, 2021
Science & Medicine
Biologists Confirm: Ted Cruz is a Sentient Crotch Cyst
In an unforeseen turn of events, sources say that top Republican brass are weighing...
November 19, 2021
Arts & Entertainment
Inspired by Cruz, Next Episode of “Sesame Street” Will Be Brought to You By the Letters “C-U-N-T”
Right from its inception, the educational television show "Sesame Street" has sought to inform...
November 9, 2021
Arts & Entertainment
Big Bird Asks Big Dodo To Show Him How to Get to Cancun
Beloved children's performer Big Bird made national headlines this weekend when he posted a...
November 8, 2021
Lifestyle
8 Things Ted Cruz Has Defended More Rigorously Than His Own Wife
There are few men who are considered braver, or even as brave, as Sen....
October 27, 2021
Science & Medicine
Is Your Junk Sounding and/or Looking a Lot Like Ted Cruz? You Might Have This STD.
A tale as old as time -- sexually transmitted diseases. Let's face it, if you...
October 19, 2021
World News
Cruz Suggests Haitian Refugees at Border Should ‘Check Out Cancun Instead’
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- A recent surge in Haitian refugees on the U.S. border with...
October 6, 2021
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Latest articles
Tech
You Can’t Call Me an “Incel” If I Fuck My Cybertruck
The following editorial was written and submitted by right-wing author and 2020 Trump Campaign...
April 24, 2024
Arts & Entertainment
A Bald Eagle Protecting an American Flag Reminded Me Holocaust Denier JK Rowling Can’t Sue Me
Author JK Rowling is not a fan of transgender people, that much is true....
April 19, 2024
Criminal Justice
Hillary Clinton Told Me She Has the Free Time to Be a Juror for Trump’s Trials
"...nothing would make me happier than to help make sure Donald Trump got the...
April 17, 2024
Women's Rights
The State of Arizona Just Sent Me the Pink Slip for My Wife’s Uterus
"...my wife and I weren't planning any excursions through Arizona to begin with. However,...
April 12, 2024