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A Bald Eagle Protecting an American Flag Reminded Me Holocaust Denier JK Rowling Can’t Sue Me

Author JK Rowling is not a fan of transgender people, that much is true....

Hillary Clinton Told Me She Has the Free Time to Be a Juror for Trump’s Trials

"...nothing would make me happier than to help make sure Donald Trump got the...
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Bill Gates Offers to Buy and Delete Elon Musk

SEATTLE, WASHINGTON -- Billionaire tech titan Bill Gates is reportedly close to making one...

Man on COVID Quarantine Really Missing Taco Bell Shits

LA MIERDA LIQUIDA, CALIFORNIA -- Getting used to living in the post-coronavirus America has...

Pat Robertson Says COVID-19 is God’s Punishment for Supreme Court’s Marriage Equality Decision

VIRGINIA BEACH, VIRGINIA -- The United States Supreme Court ruled in favor of marriage...

Coronavirus Nominated for Best Virus In a Best Actor in a Lead Role

HOLLYWOO, CALIFORNIA -- The novel coronavirus woke up to perhaps the best news in...

Trump Asks Joint Chiefs If U.S. Can ‘Nuke Coronavirus Like a Hurricane’

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Projecting an air of confidence and competence has been a mainstay...

Trump Boys All Set To Go Bear Hunting on Trip to New York Stock Exchange

NEW YORK, NEW YORK -- "We're goin' on a bear hunt, Daddy," Eric Trump...

12 Pictures of Kittens So Cute You’ll Want to Punch a Nun

Around this office, we're big fans of cute little kittens. You could say we...

Stephen Miller Announces He’s Immune to Human Mutation of Coronavirus

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The president's Senior White Power Adviser has announced that he is...

Iconic Rock Band Enters Corporate Partnership With McDonald’s

HOLLYWOO, CALIFORNIA -- Representatives for the band Fleetwood Mac announced a new corporate partnership...

Trump Accuses Obama/Biden of Creating Coronavirus as ‘Part of a Flu Coup’

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- While the country continues to brace itself and prepare for a...

Man Kicking Himself for Missing the Perfect Opportunity to Kill Himself

VALLE DE INÚTIL, CALIFORNIA -- Looking back on it now, Jake Masterson is pretty...

Sotomayor and Ginsburg Suggest Trump Should Recuse Himself From All Cases Involving America

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Throughout his presidency, President Donald Trump has tried to maintain an...

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A Bald Eagle Protecting an American Flag Reminded Me Holocaust Denier JK Rowling Can’t Sue Me

Author JK Rowling is not a fan of transgender people, that much is true....

Hillary Clinton Told Me She Has the Free Time to Be a Juror for Trump’s Trials

"...nothing would make me happier than to help make sure Donald Trump got the...

The State of Arizona Just Sent Me the Pink Slip for My Wife’s Uterus

"...my wife and I weren't planning any excursions through Arizona to begin with. However,...

Marjorie Taylor Greene Told Me Her New Theory: Hunter’s Dick Pics Caused New York’s Earthquakes

"...when I was researching Hunter's dick pics again last night, I noticed something I...