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A Bald Eagle Protecting an American Flag Reminded Me Holocaust Denier JK Rowling Can’t Sue Me

Author JK Rowling is not a fan of transgender people, that much is true....
Criminal Justice

Hillary Clinton Told Me She Has the Free Time to Be a Juror for Trump’s Trials

"...nothing would make me happier than to help make sure Donald Trump got the...
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Pew Pew!

NRA Executive Just Two More School Shootings From Being Able To Afford Fourth Vacation Home

FAIRFAX, VIRGINIA -- Today, during a board meeting of the executives of the National...
MAGA News

Trump Says Obama Used ‘Sharia Voodoo’ And Forced Him To Ban Bump Stocks Under Mind Control

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Last week, President Donald Trump shocked many in his own party...
MAGA News

Betsy DeVos Not Sure How To Arm Teachers That Already Have Two

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- On Valentine's Day this year, a gunman attacked Marjory Stoneman Douglas...
Pew Pew!

Dick’s Will No Longer Sell Replacement Dicks

CORAPOLIS, PENNSYLVANIA -- Retail giant Dick's Sporting Goods announced today that they will no...
MAGA News

President Trump Rushes Headlong Into White House Screening Of “Die Hard” And Runs Out Screaming 10 Minutes Later

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Today, President Donald Trump was witnessed by several people in his...
Pew Pew!

Dana Loesch Not Sure She Wants To Be The NRA’s Spokesterrorist Anymore

FAIRFAX, VIRGINIA -- Many Americans might have gotten the sense in the last fifteen...
MAGA News

Trump’s Bone Spurs Refute President’s Claims He’d Run Into Mass Shooting With No Gun Of His Own

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- This morning, President Donald Trump, during a meeting with the nation's...
Pew Pew!

Gun Rights Activist Will Only Fly Across Country On His AR-15 After Airlines Drop NRA Partnerships

SPRINGFIELD, WEST VIRGINIA -- In his home town, there is perhaps no stronger or...
Pew Pew!

God to Americans: “Your Kids Are Making It Here Faster Than Your Thoughts And Prayers”

KINGDOM OF HEAVEN, ETERNITY -- This morning, Larry "God" Schumway held a press conference...
Pew Pew!

Wayne LaPierre Too Busy Scrubbing Blood Off Hands To Equivocate About Gun Violence

FAIRFAX, VIRGINIA -- National Rifle Association Executive Vice-President Wayne LaPierre told reporters today that...
MAGA News

Trump Has Moment Of Silence For Parkland Victims Before Slicing Tee Shot And Screaming, “Fucking Cunt-Ass Ball!”

MAR-A-LAGO, FLORIDA -- The President of the United States held a private, solemn ceremony...
Pew Pew!

NRA Exec Just Straight Up Doesn’t Give A Fuck About Your Dead Kids, America

FAIRFAX, VIRGINIA -- As he came out of the corporate headquarters of the National...

Latest articles

Arts & Entertainment

A Bald Eagle Protecting an American Flag Reminded Me Holocaust Denier JK Rowling Can’t Sue Me

Author JK Rowling is not a fan of transgender people, that much is true....
Criminal Justice

Hillary Clinton Told Me She Has the Free Time to Be a Juror for Trump’s Trials

"...nothing would make me happier than to help make sure Donald Trump got the...
Women's Rights

The State of Arizona Just Sent Me the Pink Slip for My Wife’s Uterus

"...my wife and I weren't planning any excursions through Arizona to begin with. However,...
Criminal Justice

Marjorie Taylor Greene Told Me Her New Theory: Hunter’s Dick Pics Caused New York’s Earthquakes

"...when I was researching Hunter's dick pics again last night, I noticed something I...

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