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Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School

Criminal Justice

Hillary Clinton Told Me She Has the Free Time to Be a Juror for Trump’s Trials

"...nothing would make me happier than to help make sure Donald Trump got the...
Women's Rights

The State of Arizona Just Sent Me the Pink Slip for My Wife’s Uterus

"...my wife and I weren't planning any excursions through Arizona to begin with. However,...
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Pew Pew!

Rick Santorum’s Froth Levels Critical After Meltdown Over March For Our Lives

COAL HOLE, PENNSYLVANIA -- First responders and medical professionals in the Keystone State are...
MAGA News

Betsy DeVos Not Sure How To Arm Teachers That Already Have Two

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- On Valentine's Day this year, a gunman attacked Marjory Stoneman Douglas...
Pew Pew!

Dick’s Will No Longer Sell Replacement Dicks

CORAPOLIS, PENNSYLVANIA -- Retail giant Dick's Sporting Goods announced today that they will no...
Pew Pew!

Dana Loesch: ‘Children Should Be Shot At, But Not Heard’

FAIRFAX, VIRGINIA -- This morning, NRA spokesterrorist Dana Loesch gave an interview to a...
MAGA News

President Trump Rushes Headlong Into White House Screening Of “Die Hard” And Runs Out Screaming 10 Minutes Later

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Today, President Donald Trump was witnessed by several people in his...
Pew Pew!

Dana Loesch Not Sure She Wants To Be The NRA’s Spokesterrorist Anymore

FAIRFAX, VIRGINIA -- Many Americans might have gotten the sense in the last fifteen...
MAGA News

Trump’s Bone Spurs Refute President’s Claims He’d Run Into Mass Shooting With No Gun Of His Own

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- This morning, President Donald Trump, during a meeting with the nation's...
Pew Pew!

Adults Demand Teenagers Stop Effectively Demonstrating How Much They Failed To Protect Their Kids

GREEN GLEN, FLORIDA -- A group of concerned adults was seen chastising a group...
Pew Pew!

Gun Rights Activist Will Only Fly Across Country On His AR-15 After Airlines Drop NRA Partnerships

SPRINGFIELD, WEST VIRGINIA -- In his home town, there is perhaps no stronger or...
MAGA News

A Statement On Cowardice From President Donald Trump’s Bone Spurs

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- This morning, President Donald Trump spoke at CPAC -- the Conservative...
Pew Pew!

Teacher Asks Union If She’ll Have To Murder Unarmed Black Kids After Republicans Force Her To Also Be A Cop

HOT SPRINGS, CALIFORNIA -- 35-year-old Tracy Stillwater is a high school English teacher at...
Conservative Media

Man Who Thinks He Just Took Excruciatingly Large Dump Surprised By Dinesh D’Souza In His Toilet Bowl

CASTLE GREENS, WISCONSIN -- A local man was quite surprised this morning when, after...
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Latest articles

Criminal Justice

Hillary Clinton Told Me She Has the Free Time to Be a Juror for Trump’s Trials

"...nothing would make me happier than to help make sure Donald Trump got the...
Women's Rights

The State of Arizona Just Sent Me the Pink Slip for My Wife’s Uterus

"...my wife and I weren't planning any excursions through Arizona to begin with. However,...
Criminal Justice

Marjorie Taylor Greene Told Me Her New Theory: Hunter’s Dick Pics Caused New York’s Earthquakes

"...when I was researching Hunter's dick pics again last night, I noticed something I...
Lifestyle

Because of DEI, My Black Friends Don’t Like My Confederate Flag Collection No More

The following editorial was written by right-wing podcaster and singer/songwriter Jethro Q. Bohiggins. The...

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