Religious Zealot Explains Why She Believes Clearly Doctored Videos About Planned Parenthood

Published on

SPLINTER, OKLAHOMA — When the right-wing anti-abortion group Center For Medical Progress started releasing videos that allegedly showed Planned Parenthood officials discussing the terms under which they “sell” the tissues, organs and other parts of fetal abortions that are performed at certain clinics they operate, Abby Dotson says she “immediately dropped to [her] knees and praised the Lord Jesus Hubert Christ Almighty” because she “knew in [her] heart of hearts that it would mean the end of abortion forever and ever and ever, amen!” Dotson, who has come to be known in her town as the staunchest opponent to abortion, says that she “got really excited” as she watched the videos  because “there is no way anyone could see those videos and not know that Planned Parenthood are murdering baby part sellers.”

However, in the ensuing weeks, Planned Parenthood has pushed back hard, and after a number of both state and federal investigations turned up no evidence to support CMP’s claims, an independent forensic multimedia report paid for by Planned Parenthood was delivered to Congress which confirmed that the videos were heavily altered. But even more damning of CMP was the conclusion that even the so-called “unedited” versions of the tapes that CMP released were heavily altered, more than 40 times, and even transcribed inaccurately, fabricating dialogue when it suited the group’s narrative.

Dotson, however, “doesn’t give two crusted rat craps” about the forensic evidence. According to her, “I believe in my heart that the Center For Medical Progress is doing the Lord’s work, and anyone saying something against them is clearly working for Satan, or worse, Barack HUSSEIN Obama.” Dotson says that she “don’t trust some fancy-pants nerd with a computer” says about the videos because “faith don’t need no proof, it just needs faith.”

“Truthfully,” Dotson told The Political Garbage Chute, “I don’t even care if the videos were doctored. The fact is that abortion is murder, and people who defend it are Satan’s minions.” She went on to say that “if it takes someone completely fabricating a story, so be it, abortion must be stopped at all costs.”

We asked Dotson if she would feel any remorse if the heavily edited videos caused Planned Parenthood to be defunded and millions of low-income women would lose access to the other, non-abortion related health care services they provide. Dotson answered with a blunt, short, “No.” Later in the interview she reiterated that “no amount of so-called evidence or independent review will sway [her] because I have the word of God in my ears telling me to keep this fight up, despite the fact that abortion is never mentioned in the Bible” and that “if those low-income ladies want health care they can either get jobs or go to clinics that don’t murder babies and then sell their body parts on the open market.” We reminded Dotson that that has not been proven and she simply replied, “whatever.”

“You keep saying these videos were heavily edited,” Dotson said at one point, “as if that should sway me. ‘Jurassic Park’ was heavily edited, and I still loved that movie and I can’t wait to visit it one day because I love dinosaurs, and I would have loved to be one of the humans who walked with them, since you know, evolution is also a lie straight from the pits of Hell.” Dotson said that she “will continue to picket and protest Planned Parenthood” and “demand those baby butchers be defunded” until “the cows come home to roost” because “that’s what Jesus wants me to do, harm innocent women — some of whom are victims of rape or incest — for my idealistic crusade against something that women have been doing since they figured out they could control their own reproductive timeline.”

Latest articles

A Bald Eagle Protecting an American Flag Reminded Me Holocaust Denier JK Rowling Can’t Sue Me

Author JK Rowling is not a fan of transgender people, that much is true....

Hillary Clinton Told Me She Has the Free Time to Be a Juror for Trump’s Trials

"...nothing would make me happier than to help make sure Donald Trump got the...

The State of Arizona Just Sent Me the Pink Slip for My Wife’s Uterus

"...my wife and I weren't planning any excursions through Arizona to begin with. However,...

Marjorie Taylor Greene Told Me Her New Theory: Hunter’s Dick Pics Caused New York’s Earthquakes

"...when I was researching Hunter's dick pics again last night, I noticed something I...