WASHINGTON, D.C. — A White House in search of a new, permanent communications director and an embattled YouTube star might be the newest team of unexpected allies in the nation’s capital. Several sources have confirmed on the promise of anonymity and WalMart gift cards that President Donald Trump is very seriously considering offering PewDiePie the job, and it’s expected that he’ll make his decision soon.
“I don’t know, there is just something I really like about that kid,” Trump was overheard telling Kellyanne Conway this morning, “I really love his vocabulary.”
PewDiePie first got himself into hot water earlier this year when it was discovered he had laced his popular YouTube videos with antisemitic language. One video in particular contained the message, “Death to All Jews.” Sources say this incident put PewDiePie on the president’s radar, but that since the comms director job wasn’t open, Trump merely noted the “cut of [PewDiePie’s] jib” and moved on.
“The president knew he’d want to work with Mr. DiePie at some point down the line,” a White House aide told us, “but back in February we still had Sean Spicer here. So there wasn’t any place for Pew to go.”
Now, though, things have changed. Our sources say that when PewDiePie was caught on a live gaming stream loudly calling someone a “nigger,” President Trump called an impromptu, emergency meeting. Trump wanted to know what the logistics of hiring Mr. DiePie to be the permanent communications director would look like.
“We’d just have to ask Hope Hicks to step aside,” one aide told us, “and since she’s been working in the White House for a couple weeks now, chances are she’s ready to leave. Most people hit that point within five or ten minutes of working closely with the president.”
The president sees in PewDiePie someone who has the “knowledge and skill set” he’s looking for in a communications director.
“Around here,” Trump was heard saying, “it really helps to know your Nazi rhetoric. How else are you going to slip it in as a dog whistle to racists in my base?”
Mr. Trump believes that PewDiePie will “fit right in” with other members of his staff, but he’s also saddened that Mr. DiePie won’t get a chance to work with other former members of his administration.
“Something tells me that Stephen Miller and PewDiePie have a lot in common,” President Trump was heard telling his chief of staff John Kelly, “but I really wish that Bannon would’ve gotten a chance to work with PewDiePie. The two have so much in common like, you know, slipping Nazi imagery and propaganda into content aimed at the mainstream.”
At the time of publication, neither PewDiePie nor the White House could be reached for comment.