Open Letter to Liberal-Minded People in America

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This is my missive to my fellow Libs (Progressives if you speak Pussy) in regards to how we should go about our bid-ness.Hey Gang!

Okay, check it out. I know that The Tea Party seems really easy to dismiss. Christine O’Donnel seems more like a cartoon character than a real political candidate. She says things that make Sarah Palin seem well-informed and intelligent.  She clearly misses the point on a ton of issues. The thought of someone like her becoming a United States Senator is comical, and borderline scary.

I know it’s going to seem really easy to be dismissive of this movement. They actually wear three-corner hats for God’s sake. In fact, in our dismissive disregard of the movement, we may actually want to get nasty about it and just ram it down their throats exactly how unqualified some of their candidates may be. It almost seems like O’Donnel especially is begging to get picked on and blown out of the water.

But I’d like to ask my fellow Liberal-minded brethren and sistren to just chill the F out for a second. You see, the whole reason this movement exists is because some of us on our side spent the last 8 years calling George W. Bush a war-criminal and comparing him to Adolf Hitler.  Granted, this was probably in response to their side taking a two-term long shot at Bill Clinton basically because he let a young girl give him a blow job.

I’m not a Political Science major. I’m just a dumb-ass comedian who likes to pontificate. I’m not sure exactly where the polarization of this country’s political system started. I do know that it’s exactly this kind of thing that George Washington warned the country about in his farewell address.

It makes sense that given human nature, if a society embraces only two options for its leaders, that eventually the built-up animosity will eventually devolve into mud-slinging, vitriolic rage that really doesn’t move anyone forward, but rather always laterally, or even worse backward. Washington may have been wise beyond his years, indeed.

Anyway fellow Libs (or “Progressives” if you’re afraid to be branded with the L word), we’ve helped contribute to this mess just as much as the other side has. And see, there’s the issue, “the other side.” Why are there only two sides to choose from?

We, the naturally forward-thinking and moving side of the aisle should be ENCOURAGING the tea-party. We should be always in favor of more choice; more freedom. The more we encourage Americans to have a chance to choose between a more varied assortment of candidates, the better.

Of course, the problem is that the Republican party seems to have appropriated to some extent the Tea Party. So instead of having a third-party, we basically have an energized radical wing of one of the same parties that’s been around forever. If we had all encouraged them to take the steps necessary to become their own party, the outcome might have been much better everyone involved.

So since we helped to create this mess, let’s be part of the solution. Why don’t we take the High Road? No more spite, no more ire. Let’s disagree vehemently with the points the other side is making, of course! But let’s respect the human being actually making the point. Let’s not assume they’re “stupid” or “ignorant” for having their own opinions. Maybe they’re mis-informed on a topic, but instead of using that as a club to beat them intellectually over the head; let’s just inform them of our own point of view.

I’ll grant you that certain world points of view are absolutely, 100% wrong. Racism, homophobia, sexism. These views should not be tolerated. But only through civility can the wheels of motion be put into place. We only give them more ammunition if we lose their respect.

In the past I advocated radicalism. I advocated a leader from the Left just getting up onto the White House steps and the Senate floor and laying waste to all his or her detractors by jamming the “truth” into everyone’s faces and pushing super-extreme Liberal ideals onto the landscape of America. And while I still want all anti-Gay Marriage laws abolished and marijuana legalized, I no longer want to wage war with my fellow-man about it. I want our movement to change minds, not bludgeon them.

The super-geniuses at The Daily Show are putting this very message of mutual-respect and tolerance into the mainstream. Their “Rally to Restore Sanity” speaks to what my larger message is. For years I’ve felt like both the Republicans and the Democrats have been using their extremist members as weapons against the portion of Americans that understands that life is lived in the gray-areas.

So in conclusion, what I’d like to encourage us Left-Leaning folks to do is to practice the art of “turning the other cheek” and being forceful only in our respect for the other side or sides as the case may be. Sometimes the most radical thing you can do is to be quiet, civil and respectful in your push towards real change.

The silly and ignorant views of the Tea Party that we all know don’t make any real sense will be exposed, and the really insanely unqualified will not win their elections. Even if they do, it might be good for this country for that radically Right-Wing agenda to be exposed for the silly thing it is.

Relax Lefties, we’ll be just fine.

Yours Truly,

J-bo Schlarbuckle


More from James Schlarmann

    Please apply that to any political party you like. It’s the one thing all political parties have in common, the zombies that follow them.

    Love the post.

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  • Just a note to anyone who notices that I cleaned up an exchange between myself and a reader who disagreed with my politics. Let me assure you all that I am not in favor of censorship in any way, and the only reason I removed the discussion is that I verified via IP tracing that this person was trying to “troll” me and the site.

    Given that it was apparent this user was in no way trying to have an actual discussion, but just wanted to get an oh-so important Internet WIN! I decided to can all the comments and mark that user’s IP address as SPAM.

    Good times, internet. Good times.

  • The Chronic-ally Ill

    what was the exchange between you and reader and how do you verify through IP they are trolling? Doesn’t trolling mean they post links to other site? i have never heard of an internet win and i am going to look that up. i hope cash is involved when winning. i would like to read the discussion even if it was for a laugh. are they conservative republican?

    • Because their IP, another poster’s IP, and YOUR IP ADDRESS all resolve via trace-routing to the same IP address. It doesn’t take rocket-science (just knowledge of IP-routing) to figure it out. Nice try though, Guy.

  • Bro-Hug

    LOL! Ok, what the hell is the comments about? Schlarmann, I didn’t know you were a blogger, a Quizno’s heir and IT network guy. What is all this nonsense about political debate? LOL! I do not get erasing the debate then stating you erased, it confuses and entices us! You like Obama????

    Great tribute to Greg Giraldo by the way. He is/was a funny dude.

    • admin

      Ha. Quizno’s heir. Boy could I spin a yarn on that one.

      Thanks for the kind words on the Greg Giraldo tribute. He was and is worth paying tribute to. I cleaned up the comments because I got sick of playing detective to find out three “different” people were commenting and shit-talking from the same IP address. In other words, they were taking this wayyyyy too seriously. And making my life inconvenient. 😉