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Published on June 26th, 2012 | by James Schlarmann

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An Open Letter To: Senator Jon Kyl

Senator Kyl –

I hope you’re okay with word spreading far and fast about your implication of impeachment. Here’s the thing though, you might want to walk that one back. Soon. Impeachment, Senator Kyl, is a serious thing. I don’t know if anyone’s told you this, but it’s sort of not done unless the President does some really, really fucked up shit. Although to be fair, thanks to your fellow Republicans, a blow job falls under the “Really, Really Fucked Up Shit” banner now too, so maybe you were just ill-informed.

Senator Jon Kyl (R-AZ) – The first of the morons to imply impeachment for President Obama.

We get it, Senator Kyl. You and your fellow Republicans hate President Obama. Well, I don’t know if you hate him, or just hate that he’s in office. Either way, we understand by now that you guys are willing to do anything and everything to get him out of office, including sabotaging the economy so you can turn around and ask, “Why hasn’t President Obama already fixed this tremendous pile of shit Bush left behind?!” But you still can’t impeach him for his policy on immigration. He isn’t ignoring laws, Senator. He’s choosing to direct his limited resources at more important targets like criminals, and not every Tomas, Ricardo or Harry that comes to our country looking for a better life.

What you’re really pissed off about is that you and the rest of the GOP killed the Dream Act and now Obama has done an end-around our useless Congressional body and effected at least some temporary relief. You may think that deporting people who came here illegally under no fault of their own is a good thing; but most Americans don’t agree with you. Most Americans, when asked favor a policy like that of President Obama’s. He didn’t give the 800,000 or so illegal immigrants impacted by his policy shift a path to citizenship. He just told them we’re not coming for you right now because we have bigger fish to try, and you’re the kind of person we love having here.

I’m just having a hard time understanding you Republicans lately. First you do an en masse flip-flop on the individual mandate in health care reform (after twenty years of championing it), and now you tell us that your intent is to impeach President Obama if he doesn’t go back on his policy change? I hate to tell you, Senator Kyl, but Presidents have been doing this kind of thing for quite some time now. Presidents on both sides of the aisle have had to make some decisions as how to best uphold the laws of the nation. You and your fellow Republicans like to imply that Obama is somehow picking and choosing which laws to uphold and enforce. He’s not doing any such thing; he’s simply deciding how to enforce them and how to prioritize.

But by all means, Senator, implore your GOP friends in the House to fire up the Impeachment Machine 5000. The last time you guys went down this rabbit hole you lost face, lost momentum and lost control of Congress shortly thereafter. Americans don’t mind political theater, but they are are sensitive about witch hunts. Between you running your mouth about impeachment and Representative Issa chasing windmills over Fast and Furious, it won’t be long until the public at large decides they’re tired of the obstructionists fucking it up for everybody.

The irony is that if you hadn’t filibustered the Dream Act to death, we’d have an actual law in place, and you could go after repealing it if you so chose. You’d be acting just as foolish given its popularity, but I’m not in the habit of telling elected officials what to do; I’m in the habit of making fun of elected officials do. But what I hope you and the rest of the Republicans in Congress understand is that the country is much more upset with you and the Democrats in the House and Senate than they are with Obama. Your approval ratings are in the shit house and then some. An unpopular impeachment proceeding wouldn’t fly very well for the segment of the population that doesn’t get its news from the Murdoch and Ailes, and that’s something you have to contend with.

No, your best bet is to shut the fuck up, get the Congressional Republicans together, and write a Dream Act bill. Force the Democrats to vote on it. That’s the only way you can actually get some political cache from independents and moderates. Your maniacal zealot base will be fine with whatever you do. But they won’t help convince average Americans that impeachment is the way to go. Oh, and seriously guy, you have about five months until a very close election. Why don’t you just sit tight and see if your guy wins the White House. Then if he doesn’t, you can go on another crusade, okay?

 

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About the Author

James is the founding contributor and editor-in-chief of The Political Garbage Chute, a left-leaning satire and commentary site, which can be found on Facebook as well. You definitely should not give that much a shit about his opinions.



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