Obama’s Gun Confiscation Count: Week #359 – Christmas Eve Edition

Total: Guns Confiscated by President Barack Obama (Week #359): zeroTotal: Guns Confiscated by President Barack Obama (Entire Presidency):

zero

Total: Caches of Weapons and Ammunition, Seized by President Barack Obama (Week #359):

zero

Total: Caches of Weapons and Ammunition, Seized by President Barack Obama (Entire Presidency):

zero

Total: Presents Left by Santa Clause for Wayne LaPierre (Week #359):

zero

Total: Presents Left by Santa Clause for Wayne LaPierre (Entire Presidency):

zero

Total: Fucks Given by the NRA Executive Board for the Innocent Lives Lost at the End of a Gun (Week #359):

zero

Total:Fucks Given by the NRA Executive Board for the Innocent Lives Lost at the End of a Gun (Entire Presidency):

zero

Total:  Guns Used to Deck the Halls (Week #359):

zero

Total:  Guns Used to Deck the Halls (Entire Presidency):

zero

Total: Guns Used to Make the Season Bright (Week #359):

zero

Total: Guns Used to Make the Season Bright (Entire Presidency):

zero

Total: Guns Roasting Chestnuts on an Open Fire (Week #359):

zero

Total: Guns Roasting Chestnuts on an Open Fire (Entire Presidency):

zero

Total: Americans Who Think a Gun in their Stocking Will Somehow Make them Safer From Gun Violence:

“Silent night, holy shit that’s a lot of people.”

James Schlarmannhttp://www.facebook.com/JamboSchlarmbo
Comedian, writer, semi-amateur burrito wrangler and platypus aficionado, James cannot and will not be pigeonholed by anyone's expectations. Unless you want to pay him money, in which case his principles are as malleable as his "children" are "in need of food." Winner of absolutely zero lifetime achievement awards. You should definitely not give a shit about his opinions. James' satire is also found on: Alternative Facts, Alternative Science, The Political Garbage Chute, The Pastiche Post, Satirical Facts Hire James to create (very likely) funny content.

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2 Comments

  1. James–You’re the pistol–I love it. Just you keep on blowing in the wind. You know what I think–I think you’re wasting you’re ingenuity. You have a marketable talent. Put it to something more productive of some measurable result. Are you actually making a living putting out this consistently remarkable bullshit? I assume you’re not independently wealthy so who’s paying you? SOROS?

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