Mike Pence Announces Return Of One Man Show For Thanksgiving Entertainment

THE WHITE HOUSE — Speaking to reporters at the White House about arrangements for this year’s White House Thanksgiving feast, Chief of Staff, John Kelly, announced that Vice President Mike Pence is set to bring about a return to his one man show Pence: An American Embarrassment for one night only as part of the day’s entertainment.

Originally opening back in January at the Safe Space Theatre in New York, the show was set to be an alternative version of the hit Tony Award winning musical Hamilton, created by Lin-Manuel Miranda, but for racists who don’t believe that anyone other than white people existed more than ten years ago, and those who hadn’t heard of the original version yet still wanted to boycott the sold out show they had no chance of ever getting tickets to.

After a shaky opening night in which only four people attended, Mr & Mrs Black, a white couple from Iowa that Pence is friends with, and the friends of friends of the representative President Trump gave his tickets to, the show closed to massive losses — namely, Pence’s dignity and soul.

Explaining the decision to bring back the show for a performance at the White House, Kelly told reporters, “Mike Pence is excited about showing his artistic side to a new and much bigger audience that is much more on target than those liberal in New York — They can’t understand talent and culture at all.”

When asked by reporters which songs he and the President were most looking forward to watching Pence perform, Kelly explained. “Personally, I’m a big fan of The Treason of Tonight and The Room Where the Russia Meeting Happens, while I know President Trump’s favorites are definitely Women Refuted and Ten Trump Commandments.”


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