Man Who Cannot Win Election Kicking ‘Hardcore Serious’ Ass In Polls

Bernie Sanders is polling better and better, but that doesn't matter obviously.

As the Republican primary season goes into full swing with its first televised debate this week, attention is starting to also build on the Democratic Party’s primary as well.

There are some very striking differences between the GOP’s and the Dems’ primaries however. One difference is in the much smaller candidate pool that Democrats are fielding. Even if Vice President Biden were to put his hat in the ring, that would leave Democrats with not even half the list of hopefuls Republicans have. One other difference between the two parties is that pundits on The Hill — every single one of them — know who will win already — former Secretary of State, Hillary Rodham Clinton. Apparently, the message hasn’t gotten from D.C. out into the rest of the country yet, because according o most major polls, Bernie Sanders the Socialist Who Has No Chance is challenging Clinton’s lead and is beating Republicans in head-to-head matchups.

John Fricke, a senior policy expert at Pathways for Tomorrow — a left-leaning think tank based in Akron, Ohio — told The Political Garbage Chute that he was “surprised more folks haven’t figured out that it doesn’t matter how well Sanders polls, or how many thousands of people he draws in a red state Obama had no chance of winning either time, Hillary will win the nomination, the next two elections, go on to be the next Chief Justice of the Supreme Court, and cure AIDS in the first hundred days of her first term.” Fricke says that “polls are cool and all, but do they really reflect anything of importance to an election other than what way people might vote, I don’t think so.”

“Sure, the latest Quinnipiac poll showed that Bernie is faring better against Marco Rubio, Jeb Bush, Scott Walker, and Donald Trump than even Hillary is,” Mary Braun told The Political Garbage Chute, “but what does that really mean other than he has a groundswell of support in key swing-states that could decide the election for him?” Braun is a long-time associate at “Braun, Brown and Breen,” a non-partisan political science institution. “I don’t think anyone should look at the polling data and extrapolate that Sanders could win just because it looks like he could win. That seems shortsighted.”

Skip Ricardellia runs the conservative media and production company Right For You, Right For Everyone and he says that he’s “impressed” with Sanders’ showing in the recent polls, but that “even though Gallup is showing his favorability numbers spiking, that cannot possibly translate into anything good for his campaign.” Ricardellia says that “Americans just will not elect anyone who is a socialist, even though we have several socialist programs already in place throughout the country because we conservatives have done a great job in obfuscating that fact.”

Polls in swing states like Colorado have shown a big surge for Sanders as well, and many are finding him more “honest and trustworthy” than Clinton. Fricke says that those polls are “meaningless” because “we’ve already gotten together and decided for you all who the nominees will be” and “there’s no need wasting everyone’s time with your own feelings, thoughts and decisions.” Fricke added, “the reality is that Bernie’s too socialist, too old, and and too, whatever-else-word you want to use to make it seem like he can’t win no matter how many people come see him speak and no matter how fast he’s climbing up the polls.”

With a little over 400 days left until the election, Braun says time is running out for Democratic voters to “fall in line, take the oath and swear fealty to the predestined, predetermined corporate choice.” She further added, “every vote most certainly counts, just as long as it’s going to the candidate we king and queen makers want you to vote for, of course.”

Sanders recently pulled to within a statistical tie with Clinton in New Hampshire, and in Iowa his numbers are improving as well. “But that doesn’t mean jack-shit, remember,” Fricke told us. “All that matters is what we tell you to think about Sanders’ chances, not what is plain to see for anyone who is bothering to look. No matter how much hardore, serious ass he’s kicking in the polls, it’ll never matter as long as we say it doesn’t matter.”

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