House Republicans Prove Their Utter Worthlessness Again…and Again…and Again…

I just…sometimes I really…Excuse me while I go smack myself in the face with a rubber fish and/or back issue of Hi-Lights, because what we’re about to get into makes my eyelashes fall out it’s so…stupid. 

Ah…much better. Thanks, Rubber Fish.

Essentially, it’s just one more example of the fact that Republicans live in a completely and totally different universe than the rest of us. Apparently Fox News broadcasts from fucking Mars or something, because it’s getting to the point where I can’t even get angry at them; I just pity them. The denial of reality that it must take to hold so steadfastly to a world view that’s just so inaccurate must hurt their brains after a while, I’d think.

I recently wrote a piece in which I explained why I was done writing things that focused primarily on the incessant attempts of House Republicans to kill Obamacare. After 40 times of meaningless votes that are only taken so that Republican congressmen can go home to their constituents — most of which I’m sure have no idea how Obamacare is already improving their health care — and tell them, “Golly gosh we tried to repeal that Kenyan Socialist’s anti-American health care plan, but the Democrats in the Senate just won’t let us,” I wasn’t going to care about attempt number 41, 42, or beyond. Then I woke up today and saw a story that proves one and for all they’re Republicans are either trolling us, or they literally have no connection to reality.

House Republicans are set to de-fund ACORN again. The only problem? ACORN has been out of existence for three years.

In case you don’t know or were under a rock the last few years, ACORN is an anti-poverty group that right-wing troll James O’Keefe unfairly railroaded out of existence after doctoring hidden camera footage to imply that employees at the non-profit organization were helping teach people how to get out of paying taxes and even whispers of prostitution were heard too. Of course after a handful of investigations were conducted, ACORN was cleared of all wrongdoing, but that doesn’t mean anything to Republicans, who still insist that ACORN was a front for…what, exactly? I don’t know.

There’s a certain amount of irony to Republicans being offended by someone being advice on how to cheat on their taxes, considering that when you register as a Republican you’re given a free Cayman Islands bank account. But in this case, it was all bogus anyway, and still doesn’t explain why every single time Republicans have voted to block Federal funding to ACORN has come after the group was dissolved. This actually goes beyond the stupidity of the ACA faux-peals because at least they’re fake repealing a real thing. In this case, they’re blatantly ignoring not only the truth of the investigation but more importantly the sheer fact that the organization doesn’t exist. It’s particularly galling when you think about the fact that it was a group that helped poor people, and the GOP already helped kill it; these new anti-ACORN measures are just political posturing.

Doesn’t it just make you sad for rank and file Republicans? They are being baited into hating a group of people that doesn’t exist and more importantly were not guilty of the things they were being accused of in the first place. I suppose it’s hard to feel sorry for people who choose to remain ignorant in the face of a mountain of evidence to the contrary, though, isn’t it? Therein lays the rub. These tea partying, slack-jawed yokels are not only embarrassingly ignorant of reality, they revel in it, which makes it hard to want to engage with them on any meaningful level. It’s one thing to waste over $80 million on fake-stopping Obamacare, it’s another to promulgate lies — lies based dog-whistle racism no less — by continuing to beat up on a group that was wrongfully accused in the first place.

Who do you blame more — the right-wing media that feeds lies to the right-wing, or the right-wing for refusing to access the critical thinking parts of their brain and just Google, “does ACORN still exist?” I don’t know, actually. It’s something I’m trying to get my head around — how do we move forward when we have a large segment of this population that can’t even admit the sky is blue, much less that austerity has been debunked, black people aren’t poor because they’re inherently more violent or predisposed to poverty, and that women are truly capable of doing everything men do? The next thing you know, they’ll be drafting bills not to give Federal funding to Santa Claus, because he’s a socialist who flies around the world giving kids free stuff.

What exactly does it say about your political movement if you can’t even fucking demagogue things that exist? What’s next — are Republicans going to start writing laws that say we can’t have Sharia law established in this country, despite the fact that the First Amendment clearly states there shall be no establishment of a state religion? Oh, Republicans in North Carolina just did that? Oh, that same bill was used as a sneaky back-door way to also write draconian anti-abortion laws?

Well, fuck me then. I give up.





About James Schlarmann 2612 Articles
James is the founding contributor and editor-in-chief of The Political Garbage Chute, a political satire and commentary site, which can be found on Facebook as well. You definitely should not give that much a shit about his opinions.
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