Fox News Reporter: “I Guess I Fucked Roger Ailes for Nothing Now”

Working at Fox News used to have its slimy, obese perks.

A Fox News reporter is lamenting the resignation of the news channel’s CEO because she believes his exit means she won’t benefit from previously providing him with sexual favors.

On-air personality Valerie Thiel expressed disappointment upon learning her boss and intermittent sexual partner, longtime Fox News chief Roger Ailes, had resigned effective immediately on Thursday, less than one month after former Fox anchor Gretchen Carlson sued him for sexual harassment.

The 32-year-old finance correspondent said her chagrin stems from the realization she won’t receive the special treatment and accelerated advancement promised to her by Ailes in exchange for indulging the rotund, 76-year-old pervert’s inappropriate sexual advances.

“It was supposed to be quid pro quo. And I gave him some good quid. Lots of hot, steamy, pulse-racing quid that he’ll never forget. Sadly, he was forced out before I could get my quo,” Thiel bemoaned. “I guess I fucked Roger Ailes for nothing now that he’s gone.”


In addition to regretting her multiple, fruitless copulations with Ailes, Thiel said she’s upset with Carlson, as well as other female Fox News employees — including anchor Megyn Kelly — who subsequently supported Carlson’s claim by coming forward and asserting Ailes also sexually harassed them.

“I have no doubt Roger tried dipping his pen in their company wells. He’s a shameless, fat, disgusting, horny, wrinkled sack of shit,” Thiel stated. “I can totally understand if they didn’t want to see — much less touch — his tiny, shriveled penis beneath his pasty, distended gut. But why’d they have to ruin his deal with girls like me?”

An angry Thiel then offered a thinly veiled threat, adding, “Snitches get stitches, bitches.”


Republished from The Red Shtick.

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