Empire Sympathizers Outraged Over Jedi Temple Location


Notice: Trying to get property of non-object in /home/mejuth/public_html/wp-content/themes/simplemag/formats/format-standard.php on line 28
Years after its destruction, emotions still run high over Death Star

A firestorm of anger, fear and aggression has been touched after Luke Skywalker, Jedi Knight, revealed on Monday that the site of the first Death Star’s destruction, Yavin 4, has been chosen to hold the new Jedi Temple. Imperial Loyalists have decried the decision as being insensitive to the thousands of Stormtroopers and their families who lost their lives defending the Death Star.

Model of proposed Yavin Jedi Temple

Susan TK-421,widow of Jonathan TK-421-a Stormtrooper who lost his life above the remains of Alderaan-was quoted as saying “Skywalker should be absolutely ashamed of himself for this decision. He is trampling all over the memory of Jon, and so many, many others like him.”

Tom Moff Tarkin, son of the Grand Moff Tarkin has told us “Not a day goes by without thinking about Dad. I go to Yavin 4 once a year to pay my respects. I don’t think I’ll do that once the Jedi Temple is built.”

Senator Mon Mothma attracted some criticism of her own when she said “Any group should be allowed to build a temple for study of the Force, or whatever that group happens to hold as being the energy field that binds the galaxy together , on any privately held property that it so chooses. ”

At the time of this story’s release Skywalker could not be reached for an interview.

More from James Schlarmann

Roy Moore Hopes To Bring His “Brand of Alabama Values And Pedophilia” To D.C.

"Would you tell the Holy Spirit he was wrong for statutorily raping...
Read More
  • Very Cool!

  • It’s a very serious issue. Many different sides involved on this one…

  • Jennifer Z

    Effin’ swote, dude.

    • Thanks yee! It’s my stupid attempt at social commentary and satire.