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James Schlarmann

Comedian/Satirist/Amateur Burrito Wrangler
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Tech

You Can’t Call Me an “Incel” If I Fuck My Cybertruck

The following editorial was written and submitted by right-wing author and 2020 Trump Campaign spokesperson Dustin Pewpsin, who also served as Elon Musk's personal testicular polishing assistant from 2021-2022. The opinions expressed herein are only those of Mr. Pewpsin, and not of this outlet,...
Arts & Entertainment

A Bald Eagle Protecting an American Flag Reminded Me Holocaust Denier JK Rowling Can’t Sue Me

Author JK Rowling is not a fan of transgender people, that much is true. At least, she's not a fan of transgender women. For some reason, which only the billionaire Harry Potter author can tell us what that might be, she doesn't seem as obsessed...
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Religion

Evangelical MAGA Supporter Sees No Issue With President Asking Satan For Dirt on Biden

HOLY OAK, VIRGINIA -- Right-wing, Pro-Trump televangelist Bill Millen told listeners and viewers of...
MAGA News

President Says Benedict Arnold’s Meetings With the British Were ‘Perfect’

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Whether or not he ends up being impeached, there can be...
MAGA News

President Says People Should Get His Permission Before They Tell the Public About His Multiple Abuses of Power

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- It is not a secret on the Hill that President Donald...
Science & Medicine

President Suggested Strapping Border Crossers to Nukes and Dropping Them on Hurricanes

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- This week it was reported by several outlets that soon-to-be impeached...
MAGA News

Obnoxious Liar Stands Next to President of Finland and Screams Conspiracy Theories at Reporters

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- An obnoxious, lying reality-TV conman and trust fund racist spent about...
MAGA News

Big, Dumb, Idiot Spends His Day as Most Powerful Idiot in the World Live-Tweeting His Own Impeachment

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- By noon in the nation's capital today, a big, bloviating, orange...
Lifestyle

Is Your Rascal Scooter Fully Charged In Preparation for a Second Civil War?

The President of the United States was the subject of an impeachment inquiry that...
MAGA News

President Retweets Klan Poll Showing 100% Impeachment Disapproval

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The President of the United States has found himself in a...
MAGA News

Ivanka Admits to Being White House Thistle Blower

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Despite the best efforts of The Failing New York Times, the full and...
U.S. Politics

Exclusive Report: Is the President a Complete and Total Moron?

While the attention of most of the media outlets in America over the next...
Lifestyle

Is Your Rascal Scooter Fully Charged In Preparation for a Second Civil War?

The President of the United States is currently the subject of an active impeachment...
MAGA News

President Wants Pizza Delivery Driver Who Forgot His Cheese and Peppers Arrested for Treason

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The most powerful alleged billionaire and white collar criminal in the...
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Latest articles

Tech

You Can’t Call Me an “Incel” If I Fuck My Cybertruck

The following editorial was written and submitted by right-wing author and 2020 Trump Campaign...
Arts & Entertainment

A Bald Eagle Protecting an American Flag Reminded Me Holocaust Denier JK Rowling Can’t Sue Me

Author JK Rowling is not a fan of transgender people, that much is true....
Criminal Justice

Hillary Clinton Told Me She Has the Free Time to Be a Juror for Trump’s Trials

"...nothing would make me happier than to help make sure Donald Trump got the...
Women's Rights

The State of Arizona Just Sent Me the Pink Slip for My Wife’s Uterus

"...my wife and I weren't planning any excursions through Arizona to begin with. However,...

© James Schlarmann (All Material is Satirical)