James Schlarmann

Comedian/Satirist/Amateur Burrito Wrangler

Want to Read Some Excerpts From The New Bible Trump Is Selling?

When one looks at the life and times of Donald J. Trump, one can't help but get the image of a truly Christ-loving, America First patriot. At least that's what those of us who have had a brain lobe removed and/or who listened to...

I Applaud Marjorie Taylor Greene’s Efforts to Free My Antifa Brethren From Jail

"...imagine my shock and surprise when Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene started her attention whoring campaign and kept talking about my captured Antifa brethren." Just over three years ago, an angry, unruly mob attacked the nation's capitol. Very few in our government had the kind of...
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Trump: “This Book Has Absolutely No Pictures of Titties In It”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Yesterday, President Donald Trump cited the Insurrection Act of 1807 and...

Selfish Fuck Oppressed by Polite Request to Wear Face Mask in Public

ASSHOLE DOUCHEBAG TOWN, TEXAS -- Scott Scooterson is a self-described "selfish fuck." It's important...

White House Had GrubHub Deliver $42,000 in McDonald’s to Trump’s Bunker

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- When President Donald Trump was taken into an underground bunker to...

Trump Thought Secret Service Would Take Him Golfing When He Begged to Be Put in Bunker

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Protests against police brutality have erupted all over the country since...

Adolf Hitler Endorses Labeling AntiFa A ‘Terrorist Organization’

HELL, HELL -- Former German President, and, still pretty much the worst human being...

Pat Robertson: “You Will Go To Hell for Loving Baby Yoda and Baby Jesus”

VIRGINIA BEACH, VIRGINIA -- Televangelist Pat Robertson has a stern warning for Christians who...

Is Your Rascal Scooter Fully Charged In Preparation for a Second Civil War?

The President of the United States is currently the subject of an active impeachment...

Tomi Lahren to Release List of Acceptable Ways for Black People to Protest Abuse

BROKE WIND MOUNTAIN, CALIFORNIA -- From a secluded cabin in the mountains of Southern...

Whiny Cunt Won’t Stop Complaining About Social Media on Social Media

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- He doesn't have to tweet. There is no clause in the...

Trump Signs Executive Order Demanding Facebook and Twitter Make Him Look Attractive and Competent

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Donald Trump proved his small-government, traditionally conservative values today when...

Coronavirus Update: Area Flasher Desperate for Parks to Open Up Again

NOIX NUES, LOUISIANA -- Chad Stripley has really not enjoyed his time under coronavirus...

Lahren Defends George Floyd’s Killer: “Blue Kneels Matter More”

LA VALLE RUBIA PINCHE PUTA, CALIFORNIA -- Fox News contributing racist Tomi Lahren has...

Latest articles

Want to Read Some Excerpts From The New Bible Trump Is Selling?

When one looks at the life and times of Donald J. Trump, one can't...

I Applaud Marjorie Taylor Greene’s Efforts to Free My Antifa Brethren From Jail

"...imagine my shock and surprise when Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene started her attention whoring...

What If Trump Uses Ivanka’s OnlyFans to Payoff His Rape, Defamation, and Fraud Fines?

"...it turns out Eric Trump  spent all his money this week on magic beans...

I Asked This Grand Wizard Why He’s Voting for Donald Trump and Not the Democrat

Ask any evangelical, Christian conservative and they'll tell you without batting a single eyelash...