James Schlarmann

Comedian/Satirist/Amateur Burrito Wrangler

Want to Read Some Excerpts From The New Bible Trump Is Selling?

When one looks at the life and times of Donald J. Trump, one can't help but get the image of a truly Christ-loving, America First patriot. At least that's what those of us who have had a brain lobe removed and/or who listened to...

I Applaud Marjorie Taylor Greene’s Efforts to Free My Antifa Brethren From Jail

"...imagine my shock and surprise when Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene started her attention whoring campaign and kept talking about my captured Antifa brethren." Just over three years ago, an angry, unruly mob attacked the nation's capitol. Very few in our government had the kind of...
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Barr Says Presidents Can Ignore Election Results They Don’t Agree With

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Attorney General William Barr, in an interview with Slimebag Fascist Enabling Toady...

Party of Lincoln Outraged People Keep Pulling Down Statues of His Enemies

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Most every American can name its 16th president. That's because he...

NYC Offers to Paint “Orange Lies Matter” in Front of Trump Tower Instead

NEW YORK, NEW YORK -- The City of New York has extended an offer...

An Angry, Racist, Orange Bag of Diarrhea Will No Longer Voice the Character of Donald Trump

Last week, a handful of white actors and actresses gave up their roles in...

Unknown White House Official Tried Convincing Trump COVID-19 Was Obama’s Idea

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- To many outside observers, it appears that President Donald Trump is...

CDC Study Shows Wearing a Mask Reduces Spreading Selfish Douchebaggery by 100%

HOTLANTA, GEORGIA -- Researchers at the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention just released...

Trump Tells Taliban They Owe Him a Cut

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Whether or not the president was briefed on Russia's efforts to...

DNC Encourages Trump Supporters to Boycott Elections With Mail-in Ballots

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The Democratic National Committee is urging Trump supporters who don't feel...

Lahren: NASA Should Rename Black Holes Because ‘All Holes Matter’

VAPID VALLEY, TEXAS -- Conservative right-wing firebrand commentator and Fox News contributor Tributary Lahren...

Should I Be Concerned That My Penile Discharge Looks Exactly Like Stephen Miller?

Author's Note: Before reading this column any further, please be advised that I will be...

Disney Assures Visitors They Can Still Hurl Racist Insults at Employees While Riding Updated Splash Mountain

ANALSLIME, CALIFORNIA -- This week, Disney became the latest corporation to reconcile its problematic...

Pence: “We Flattened the Curve. We Saved Lives. Iraq had WMD. 2+2=Ketchup.”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- At a press conference last week, Vice President Mike Pence caused...

Latest articles

Want to Read Some Excerpts From The New Bible Trump Is Selling?

When one looks at the life and times of Donald J. Trump, one can't...

I Applaud Marjorie Taylor Greene’s Efforts to Free My Antifa Brethren From Jail

"...imagine my shock and surprise when Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene started her attention whoring...

What If Trump Uses Ivanka’s OnlyFans to Payoff His Rape, Defamation, and Fraud Fines?

"...it turns out Eric Trump  spent all his money this week on magic beans...

I Asked This Grand Wizard Why He’s Voting for Donald Trump and Not the Democrat

Ask any evangelical, Christian conservative and they'll tell you without batting a single eyelash...