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James Schlarmann

Comedian/Satirist/Amateur Burrito Wrangler
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Criminal Justice

Hillary Clinton Told Me She Has the Free Time to Be a Juror for Trump’s Trials

"...nothing would make me happier than to help make sure Donald Trump got the due process and trial he's deserved his entire life." Life is funny sometimes. If you had asked me a few years ago, hell, even a few days back, if I thought...
Women's Rights

The State of Arizona Just Sent Me the Pink Slip for My Wife’s Uterus

"...my wife and I weren't planning any excursions through Arizona to begin with. However, now that I'm going to be bogged down with extra paperwork if I do, I can say pretty unequivocally we likely won't be rolling through the state any time soon." You...
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MAGA News

Trump Tells Supreme Court He ‘Really, Really, Really WANTED to Be President Again’

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Throughout his presidency, there has been one word used almost incessantly...
MAGA News

As Biden Is Sworn In, Trump Wants Air Force One Loaded With Supporters That He’ll Fly to Guyana

Next month, President-elect Joe Biden will be sworn in as the 46th President of...
U.S. Politics

Outgoing President Trump Mulling One More Popular Vote Loss in 2024

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Admitting it publicly will not and cannot change his fate, and...
U.S. Politics

5 Ways Donald Trump Can Still Win The Election

The 2020 election came and went. At times, it seemed like we were all...
U.S. Politics

On Biden’s Inauguration Day, Trump Plans to Fill Air Force One With Supporters and Fly to Guyana

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- On January 20th, 2021, at 12:00pm ET, President-elect Joe Biden will...
Lifestyle

Hey! Check Out This Super Rich White Guy’s Take on Being Nice to Hateful Bigots.

What a good lookin', rich, white guy this guy is, eh? I mean...just look...
Lifestyle

Ghosts of Christmases Past, Present, Future Confirm McConnell Has No Soul to Save

"Quite frankly, I'd rather take a shot at saving Satan himself," the Ghost of...
Religion

5 Christmas Gifts That Will Help The Special Cultist In Your Life Process Losing an Election

Christmas is on the way, and the waterfowl are beginning to put on extra...
MAGA News

In Fake Hearing, Giuliani Claims Hunter Biden’s Laptop Voted 80 Million Times

PHARTSALOT, PENNSYLVANIA -- Things are getting, for lack of any better phrase to describe...
MAGA News

Trump Campaign Legal Team to Ask Supreme Court to Set Aside Election, Constitution, Democracy

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- His options are dwindling. Time is running out. The votes have...
U.S. Politics

Santa Claus Says Americans Already Got This Year’s ‘Big Gift’ on November 3rd

THE NORTH POLE -- In just 20 days, Kris Kringle, otherwise known as "Santa...
Criminal Justice

Nervous Ivanka Asks President Daddy If She’d Get Secret Service Protection in Jail

Did Ivanka Trump illegally steer money earmarked for her dad's presidential inauguration into Trump...
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Criminal Justice

Hillary Clinton Told Me She Has the Free Time to Be a Juror for Trump’s Trials

"...nothing would make me happier than to help make sure Donald Trump got the...
Women's Rights

The State of Arizona Just Sent Me the Pink Slip for My Wife’s Uterus

"...my wife and I weren't planning any excursions through Arizona to begin with. However,...
Criminal Justice

Marjorie Taylor Greene Told Me Her New Theory: Hunter’s Dick Pics Caused New York’s Earthquakes

"...when I was researching Hunter's dick pics again last night, I noticed something I...
Lifestyle

Because of DEI, My Black Friends Don’t Like My Confederate Flag Collection No More

The following editorial was written by right-wing podcaster and singer/songwriter Jethro Q. Bohiggins. The...

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